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To: HR@funnyordie.com
From: mikescollins69@funnyordie.com
Subject: Vacation Days

Hi Ruth!

Just wanted to let you know I’m taking vacation days in the fall. Dan said to loop you in.

Hope you’re well!

Mike


To: mikescollins69@funnyordie.com
From: HR@funnyordie.com
Subject: Re: Vacation Days

Mike,

No problem at all. Which days in the fall are you taking off?

Ruth
Human Resources, Funny Or Die


To: HR@funnyordie.com
From: mikescollins69@funnyordie.com
Subject: Re: Vacation Days

All of them? I’m taking the fall off.


To: mikescollins69@funnyordie.com
From: HR@funnyordie.com
Subject: Re: Vacation Days

The whole season of fall?


To: HR@funnyordie.com
From: mikescollins69@funnyordie.com
Subject: Re: Vacation Days

I’m going apple picking!!


To: mikescollins69@funnyordie.com
From: HR@funnyordie.com
Subject: Re: Vacation Days

Mike, I’m surprised to have to tell you this but I can’t approve three months paid vacation.


To: HR@funnyordie.com
From: mikescollins69@funnyordie.com
Subject: Re: Vacation Days

Hmm … that’s gonna be a problem. Was hoping for a cooler response.

Wait, how many weeks do I get off for Halloween? Can I combine the two?


To: mikescollins69@funnyordie.com
From: HR@funnyordie.com
Subject: Re: Vacation Days

We don’t get Halloween off from work. We especially don’t celebrate it for “weeks.”


To: HR@funnyordie.com
From: mikescollins69@funnyordie.com
Subject: Re: Vacation Days

Are you sure? Cause you’re sorta acting like a witch right now.

What about Jules in accounting? She’s been out of the office for like 8 weeks.


To: mikescollins69@funnyordie.com
From: HR@funnyordie.com
Subject: Re: Vacation Days

Mike, Jules is on maternity leave.


To: HR@funnyordie.com
From: mikescollins69@funnyordie.com
Subject: Re: Vacation Days

Fine, I’ll do that then! Ruth, I’m taking maternity leave in the fall.


To: mikescollins69@funnyordie.com
From: HR@funnyordie.com
Subject: Re: Vacation Days

Maternity leave is just for women.


To: HR@funnyordie.com
From: mikescollins69@funnyordie.com
Subject: Re: Vacation Days

Oh. My. God.

Wow, Ruth. Wow.

Guess which office sexist ISN’T getting a pie when I’m back from apple picking.


To: mikescollins69@funnyordie.com
From: HR@funnyordie.com
Subject: Re: Vacation Days

You have to be having a baby to take maternity leave.


To: HR@funnyordie.com
From: mikescollins69@funnyordie.com
Subject: Re: Vacation Days

Well can we pretend we had this conversation yesterday? Cause yesterday I was!

Today things have changed. (This apple-picking trip is sort of a celebration!)


To: mikescollins69@funnyordie.com
CC: danielabramson69@funnyordie.com
From: HR@funnyordie.com
Subject: Re: Vacation Days

I’m sorry but I’m looping in Dan.


To: HR@funnyordie.com
CC: danielabramson69@funnyordie.com
From: mikescollins69@funnyordie.com
Subject: Re: Vacation Days

Go ahead. Who do you think booked the Bed and Breakfast in Vermont?!


To: HR@funnyordie.com
CC: mikescollins69@funnyordie.com
From: danielabramson69@funnyordie.com
Subject: OUT OF OFFICE REPLY - Re: Vacation Days

Thank you for your email. I am currently apple picking with my best friend, Mike, and will be out of the office until December 1st. Also on Dec 3rd we’re going to Aspen so I guess try to get me on the 2nd.

Best,

Dan Abramson


To: HR@funnyordie.com
CC: danielabramson69@funnyordie.com
From: mikescollins69@funnyordie.com
Subject: Re: Vacation Days

How ya like THEM apples, Ruth?!
- sent from my iPhone-

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