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November 17, 2012

Michael Bay's production titled "Frankenstorm" and then "Hurricane Sandy" disappointed millions. Instead of being just an entertaining spectacle, it caused devastation and power outages over widespread areas.


The Michael bay produced hurricane/storm system called "Frankenstorm" or "The Frankenstorm monster" or just "Sandy" has been a depressing let-down, according to critics and audiences.

The impact of the storm left millions without power and caused flooding and widespread damage.

Audiences and critics were hoping for something more entertaining, more of a "fireworks show with explosions and sweet CGI" to quote an audience member from New Jersey.

Instead, they were treated with high winds, downpours and power outages, and damage to property.

"Fuck you, Michael Bay."  said one critic.

"Yeah, I mean, transformers was kinda shitty especially after the first two, but it was like something you could get out the chairs and popcorn to, with some sweet space alien robots that disguise themselves as machines.  I LOVE me some space robots." Said an audience member.

Other audience comments included:

"I lost power here and my roof leaked, and I got a fucking hole in it somehow.  Thanks, Michael Bay." - Greg H, Long Island, NY.

"You had us waiting in suspense for so long and then ruin our property?  I'm still without power and it's been 10 days!!" - Brendan F, Staten Island, NY

"Well... I guess I didn't think about what it would really cause, i guess a hurricane or superstorm or whatever they're calling it now, would really cause this stuff... but....... I just wanted to be ENTERTAINED!!!  OK?!" Steve Pastrami, Queens, NY

The performances were criticized along with the content, with President Obama's performance being criticized as "mundane", while NJ governor Chris Christie's has been called over the top, although some critics have disagreed, calling his performance "larger than life".  

One critic, Lou "Mr. Film" Flynn, offered this critique: "Obama, I mean come on, we just wanted him to come out there and say like, I dunno, I had this speech in my head... something like:"

"Hold on to your asses this time, america.  This fucking thing is a monster.  But America is powerful.  We  will join together to fight and band together in the face of a disaster like this.  Every race, EVERY CREED will BAND TOGETHER IN SOLIDARITY.  COLORS WILL BE FORGOTTEN.  WHITE WILL BECOME BLACK. So I say to you.... 

In the name of liberty, do your part to defend against this storm.  In the name of freedom, help your neighbors by lending them a battery or some bread.  For God's sakes... MAKE SURE YOU HAVE SOME BREAD!! But whatever you do, know this....


Other critics suggested the storm was not worth the hype and buildup:

"Yeah, and just the waiting was ridiculous.  We kept seeing messages and alerts again and again like, "Sandy will be here any minute now... " and it was just not really worth the hype and wait bro.  Next time I'll wait awhile to get the trash bonfire party started. " - Dennis W, Millville, NJ

"I mean, everyone was like telling us how good it was gonna be, even saying shit like "this is going to be VERY DANGEROUS!" and its like, I mean do you really need to tell us how good it is?  Let US be the judge, asshole." - Steph "Steffers" M, Chester, PA

Michael apparently wanted to make this film "realistic, gritty and dark" since many of his recent films have been criticized as being over the top with special effects , space alien-robots, and shitty actors and actresses.  Also because "the gritty, dark realistic thing is really popular right now".

"This one is more story focused, ok?  It's really I've got a real vision for this one.  It's gonna be a great story to follow... and most importantly....  you'll be IN the thing, ok?  You're IN this production.  Pay attention close guys... cause there's gonna be a lot of plot twists and crazy turns in this one.  It's a real edge of your seat, falling out of your seat.... just forget about your seat altogether for this one!"

After initial negative reviews came out, Bay misunderstood the criticism, assuming fans were dissapointed at the 'lack of alien robots':

"....ughh.... Look guys... I really did try to get the space alien robots.  I really really  did ok.. or some kind of alien.   Anyway..  It just wasn't happening and I'm sorry.  I'm just as disapointed as the fans.  I even asked Spielberg for help cause he was thinking something about aliens too...  but we have a big deficit guys!! And our government could only afford to spend trillions and trillions of dollars on it.  I really couldn't do what I wanted, but I made do with what I could.  I had to mainly rely on destroying property, and cutting out power."  

"My intent was... to see the audience reaction to this.  I mean, come on the cell phones, internet, people would be more affected by the power being out so they can't check their twitters... I was kinda trying to make a statement I guess.  But hey, I love technology too!  And I realize now how disruptive it was.  But this was a strong production!  It's my first man-made natural disaster, so I'm still learning!" 

Although the reception has been mainly dissapointment, one audience member admits:

"Well it was entertaining to watch, it did really wrap us up and keep us on the edge of our seats waiting and we did get pretty freaked out, to be honest.  I'm not sure I'd wanna see it again though.  It's one of those ones that you really need to only see once if you know what I mean huh huh." - Roger, Millville, NJ

In light of the mixed and negative reviews, a not-requested-by-anyone reboot of the Hurricane Sandy franchise is already being planned by Hollywood, this time by director james Cameron, with the working title "Avatar 2".   It is reportedly going to be made in imax 4-D, using technology created by NASA and top scientists.  Cameron was informed by Obama himself that 'money is no object' in the creation of this not yet in the making masterpiece, which is expected to top all box office records of every movie ever combined ever.  

This version of the story will reportedly just 'come out of nowhere' with 'little or no warning' from meteorologists, since that way the audience won't be sitting waiting for something, the payoff will be immediate, and horrible and disastrous, and deadly.  Cameron also announced that there will also be no storyline whatsoever because 'that stuff is just boring'.  The reboot is being kept extremely super duper secret.  Cameron is planning to call this production a "man-made apocalypse".