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December 24, 2010

Maybe we aren't so different after all.

Last Call at the Local Liquor Mart

So its 5:15 pm Christmas eve and like a lot of people I realize that I'm going to need some booze and the liquor store is only open for 45 more minutes and closed tomorrow. Upon arriving and seeing the line starting to form at the front door, I realized that no matter what race, religion or class in society we all have 2 things in common. We all procrastinate and none of us can get through an evening with our families without a little something to take the edge off.

Maybe it'll turn out well and you'l have a happy memory of christmas 2010. Maybe your uncle will decide that This is the perfect time to show everyone, especially his niece , how he's learned to swing dance since he divorced her aunt wendy las t summer. Or maybe this will be the christmas that "someone" (totally not me) decides that it would be funny to give his 15 year old cousin just a little shot of vodka in his RC cola so that you can maintain your status as the cool cousin. But then you find out that 4 other cousins are doing the same thing and the kid gets hammered and now everyone is trying to stash him in an empty bedroom or get him to recite a dirty joke in from of the whole family.
     Maybe this will be the year that everyone says their holiday wishes and goes home to dream of what presents they'll receive in the morning. Maybe this year everyone says what they really think of Aunt Cheryl's new candle business and go home pissed of at how much money they had waisted on a present for a sibling they now hate.  Either way this will be a christmas to remember. And we have Alcohol to thank for that.  

And as i stood in line i couldn't help but wonder, "What do recovering alcoholics do at christmas" and thought, "I think I'll try rum this year".