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March 30, 2016
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Hillary Clinton staves off Bernie Sander's birdie with sub-par Saturday

SEATTLE—Hillary Clinton strengthened her lead over Bernie Sanders with a record sub-par round in the primary on Saturday. When it was all said and done, Sanders carded 93 delegates against Clinton’s 32. At 40 under, it was Clinton’s greatest sub-par round of her career. Sanders showed signs of a comeback on Friday with a birdie in Portland, but Clinton surged back with a barrage of sub-par marks from virtually every district in Alaska, Hawaii, and Washington State.Former journalist Wolf Blitzer called for Sanders to exit the race, “Mr. Sanders has lost his chance to concede the match with his dignity left intact. Any contender serious about playing the game in Washington should be sub-par at all times. Not only has he failed to do that, he couldn’t break 80 or even 90!”

“Sanders’ biggest fault is he continues to focus on the long game,” added Clinton’s campaign manager, Robby Mook, “Any legitimate player knows the money is made with the short game.”

Clinton’s 40 under par 32 is a new world record and yet another indubitable reason it is Her turn. Kim Jong Il previously held the record when he shot a mind boggling 38 under par 34 at the opening of The Pyongyang Golf Complex in the early 90’s. The round, which was Jong’s first, included 11 holes in one.

Chris Matthew’s of MSNBC’s Softball declined comment, but invited us on his show pending a donation to his wife’s congressional campaign.

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