When the New York Times
starts writing about micheladas
you know that one of Mexico's favorite breakfast drinks is catching on
North of the Border... or at least in the East Village. What's that you
say? We're not supposed to be drinking micheladas for breakfast. How
else are you going to get rid of your hangover?
As one of the Dharma Bums of Barra de Navidad
is quite fond of telling me, "You don't drink beer to get drunk. You
drink beer to get sober. If you want to get drunk you drink liquor." It
is why, when I am in Mexico, I will stop at the Kiosko once I stumble
out of bed (or stagger home with the rising sun) and pick up a six pack
of Modello and pay an early morning visit to my Guru of Grunge. A desayuna Mexicana
awaits and they will prepare me a mornings worth of micheladas while I
scribble down their timeless koans and coax them back down to earth
following the misstep of an acid trip.
There are as many different
types of micheladas as there are varying types of alcoholics. Some
micheladas are truly regional, some are sublime in their simplicity
requiring nothing more than a squeeze of lime and a dash of hot sauce.
Others are works of art.
The Michelada Michigana
will carry you through the hellish mornings that are Chicago in the
summertime. As of this writing summer has been cancelled in Chicago and I
am sitting in mi casa
winter coat and blowing on my hands for warmth like some character out
of Dickens - maybe it's just the shakes. Maybe I should have paid the
utilities last month.
But I digress.
Here is what you need to make your own Michelada Michigana...
4 oz Spicy Hot V-8
1 dash Valentina hot sauce
1 dash Worcestershire
1 teaspoon horseradish
1 splash of vinegar
1 pinch of celery salt
1 lime (juice thereof)Destructions/Preparations
can of beer (bottles are an option, but should you really be handling
glass? That's why most micheladas served in Mexico come in plus-sized
Styrofoam cups. Or you can fish out a Starbucks cup from the trash.)
that polystyrene cup full of ice, open your fridge door and get
creative. We'll sweat the small stuff first. As you probably don't have
any Maggi sauce in your fridge you are going to have to adapt. Coat your
cup of ice with some Valentina hot sauce, a dash of salsa inglesa
(Worcestershire sauce for the linguistically challenged), a little
horseradish and a splash of vinegar - think of it as a poor man's
vermouth. DO NOT add the lime juice at this point. You will regret it.
your cup around and mix all that goodness together. Consider it
foreplay for drunks. Most people opt for three fingers of Clamato at
this point but we're not most people and this isn't their recipe. Our
new wonder drug is Spicy Hot V-8 which, surprisingly, tastes okay
without beer. Hell, with Spicy Hot V-8 you can save yourself a lot of
time and effort and just mix the V-8 with your beer and a dash of lime -
you remember the lime don't you? The lime goes in at the end of this
process, otherwise your concoction will foam up like Lake Michigan in a
storm once you add the beer. Our objective here is get you to prepare
and to drink your michelada and not to clean up your kitchen.
hipsters in the East Village and the tepid tipplers in Lincoln Park may
want to rim their glass with lime and salt. But do you really want to
be a poseur or do you merely want to be able to function? If you want to
cure your hangover creatively, anthropologically, try a Michelada
Michigana. If you want to get drunk just follow my friend's advice and
start knocking back shots of tequila.
Now, if you'll excuse me I have company coming over for breakfast.Salud!