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April 13, 2017
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"Was it Dylan? Did Dylan take my credit card and order three huge fucking pizzas from Gino's?"

Sean Thomas Murtagh! Get your ass up here! Sean, there’s a delivery man at the door who says he has three large pizzas for Mr. Jim Murtagh. One cheese, one half pepperoni half sausage, and one inside out Hawaiian. Now, I sure as shit didn’t order three pizzas because your mother has had five fucking pounds of pulled bbq chicken in the slowcooker since 5:00. So, that begs the question. Did you and your little friends order these pizzas? Answer me, bucko, cause I’m about to hit the fucking roof. Was it Dylan? Did Dylan take my credit card and order three huge fucking pizzas from Gino’s? I know he takes money from his dad because when he and I went out for drinks to Polpettina last week after work I had to cover him because Dylan had stolen 50 fucking dollars out of his father’s wallet. You know how high our tab was? $156, kid. I was supposed to buy shirts this week but no sir. Had to pay for Matt Shaugnhessy’s casual fuckin alcohol problem. So was it Dylan? Did Dylan do it? Answer me buddy. No? Okay, was it Kevin? Was it that fucking little Kevin Flannery? That kid is a weasel and a snake and all the dads at CYO know it. His little shitstain mob associated father. You think he lives in that mansion over on Masterton with the money from his fucking landscape business? You think Kevin fucking Flannery Sr. pays for that mansion himself? Fuck no, kid. He’s a crook and his pissant little son is a crook. Was it Kevin? No? So it was fucking Anthony then. That chubby little cocksucker Anthony? He always has this little pissy smirk every time I see him. Kid can’t even catch a fucking pop up. You know that’s why you guys lost against Iona last week? He’s a waste of fucking space and I don’t want to you be friends with him. So, did he take dad’s credit card and order an inside out Hawaiian pizza? Did… JUST ONE SECOND ALRIGHT I’LL FUCKING PAY YOU I’M JUST TALKING TO MY SON! Was it Anthony? Am I gonna have to beat the fat out of your little shitty friend? I’ll kick the shit out of his father too. Fuckin Louis Caputo. Total bastard. You know he cheats on his wife? Yeah, he tells me about it. Fucks some big titted Puerto Rican chick he met at the Madewell in the Westchester. 22 years old. He tells me about it. So, was it An… WHAT? CLAIRE WHAT? CLAIRE YOU…. OH YOU ORDERED THE PIZZA? REALIZED THE CHICKEN WAS OLD? GOT PIZZA INSTEAD? ALRIGHT YEAH THERES $10 ON MY DRESSER JUST TIP THE KID. ALRIGHT. Sorry, Sean. What’s that? Yeah you can Chromecast “Dirty Grandpa”. I don’t give a fuck.

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