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August 27, 2015
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Burger King suggested to McDonald's they team up to create the McWhopper and solve world peace. McDonald's is like, "Yo, chill."

ATTN: All fast food junkies, your dreams just might be coming true.

No, we’re not talking about Taco Bell delivery, because while that is a dream come true, we’re warning you it is not a good dream come true. You think your car is in bad shape from all the bags once containing and now contaminated by Cheesy Gordita Crunches lining the floors? Imagine that now being your entire home! But we digress. What we’re talking about is the latest development in corporate frenemy-ships and marketing ploys: Burger King reached out to McDonald’s through an advertising campaign in Chicago Tribune and The New York Times, as well as on social media, calling for a ceasefire in the “Burger war” and a temporary partnership to create a combination of their two most popular menu items: a McWhopper (Big Mac + Whopper = McWhopper).

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A rendering of what could be, presented by Burger King.

And they even made up this cute lil’ video to explain their idea:

But Mr. Mickey D himself, CEO Scott Something, in a toss of deep shade, responded with this on their Facebook page:

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So for now, it looks like the dream of a McD + Burger King collab is not going to happen.

A bunch of people are geeking out over McDonald’s’ response, saying it was petty and dismissive. Let’s get one thing straight: Burger King’s looking real thirsty and it isn’t cute. McDonald’s has every right to pump the brakes on this partnership if BK is gonna act this wack.

Yes, BK, you are the underdog in this situation and usually people come around and root for you. But all successful underdog stories are dependent on if those dawgs are chill or not. The Titans high school football team did that dope dance on the field and Rocky trained every day on the streets of Philadelphia, arguably a cool and gritty city. Neither of them wrote public letters to their competitors in the New York fucking Times asking for their rivalry to end. Play it cool, k?

Do we all want a McWhopper? Sure. It sounds fun and will taste like a combination of our favorite brands of meat garbage. But let’s not pretend McDonald’s partnering with Burger King is something any of us have been holding our breath for. It’s like an Avengers movie coming out: There’s an insane amount of fanfare leading up to it, you’re never quite sure if it’s been released yet or not, and it’ll be fine at best. But most similarly, the hype the studio puts out never comes across as cool, and BK is making that same mistake.

Sorry, Burger King, but until you get your act together, it doesn’t seem like you can handle the big leagues that Ronald McDonald and the gang play in. Just hang back and, like McDonald’s said, next time give them a call or something considerably more chill.

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