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January 10, 2012

Officer William Cosby gives an official statement on the arrest of Mr. Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop.




A man by the name of Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop was arrested for violating his bail conditions. An official statement from Officer William Cosby, who was responsible for taking him back in: 


"Well, shame on you, Mr. Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop. Look what you gone and done, son. These nice people at the police station offered you a really nice deal here, and you just gone and pulled the wool all over their eyes. Didn't think we'd find out, didya? It's just not nice, son. 

When we let you out of jail we expect better from you. We brought you into this world, and we can take you out!

Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop-a-dop-dop was arrested in Madison, Wisconsin. Wisconsin is the Land of the Fat People who're eating all the Cheese Doodles and the Funions and the Jello Pops and the Pudding Pies.

While the rest of the state was basking in the yellow sun with their chins wobbling and their thighs jiggling and all the various cellulites a-piggling Mr. Beezow Doo-Doo over here decided to try his luck with that no-goodnik Mary Jane-a-wana! He'd already been in jail the once, but some boys just don't learn their lesson. 

I'm disappointed, Beebop, I really thought better of you and the rest of the Junkyard gang. I guess the moral of the story is you don't need drugs to have a good time, boo dop a dop. Jello Trees.

Doo-Doo pants over here was also caught with a concealed knife.

If kids just don't do the darndest things! What worries me most is the example Zoppitybop-Bop-Bop is setting for the impressionable pudgy  youngsters in his community. I can't help but wonder what his children may think. Bop-Bop is a pop-pop to three cherry-cheeked children: Zopzopabrapbrap, Peebeeaweeblebe, and Steven. 

This is a fact. Mary-Jane will kill you the very first time you try it. You don't want a Ghost Dad. However if by some divine miracle you don't die, buy some Jello Pops and some Pudding Pools and some Jello Trees and some Flancakes and some crepes to chase away those munchies! 

Knock some sense into that noggin, Mr. Beezow Doo-Doo, Zoppitybop-Bop-Bop! 


William Cosby (b. 1937) is one of America's foremost influential educators and law enforcers. He starred from 1982-1984 on the influential show "The Cosby Show" even if it was somewhat confusing that on that show the family's name was Huxtable and not Cosby. Well, whatever, you can follow him on Twitter here