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Published August 18, 2011

Alright enough time has passed. I'm ready to chime in with my two food stamps about Watch The Throne.

People are letting their own emotions get in the way of talking about Throne which for the most part I enjoyed. I didn't love it. I had the same reaction my Mom must've had when I was born. It's not the classic I wanted but I'll learn to live with it.

Let's talk about what I think is the real problem. I believe Jay-Z suffers from "anterograde amnesia", an extremely rare form of short term memory loss. Who else suffers from this? Leonard Shelby. Who is Leonard Shelby you ask? This is:

That's right. Jay-Z suffers from that shit that that dude in Memento got. Jay-Z can't make new memories son! Remember "(D.O.A.) Death of Auto-Tune"? Jay-Z's first single off of Blueprint 3. (Poor guy named three different albums with the same title. I'm telling you it's a sick disease). Jay makes it clear that he wants nothing to do with auto-tunes. Then what happens on track 2 of Watch The Throne? Kanye shows up.....with auto-tunes!

So let's recap this for H.O.V.A. now that we know what he suffers from.

(Reminder to Jay-Z.  You also go by "H.O.V.A." I left you a clue here.  Reminder again to Jay, you have a song called Reminder.)

Jay-Z is Leonard Shelby. Kanye West is Teddy G. Who is Teddy G.? This is:

That's right. Teddy G. is that dude who drives around with that dude who suffers from that memory shit in Memento son! Doesn't it all make sense now? According to the tattoos on my body it does. (Be right back my phone is ringing.)

There's some hotness on the album no doubt. For example there is "Ni**as in Paris". The title's clearly a metaphor for the disease as it alludes to the fact that Jay forgets he's from Brooklyn and believes he's a Frenchman from Paris. It's basically the disease in written musical form which is an achievement in and of itself. (Damn. Be right back. Phone is ringing again.)

The other stand out on the album is "Otis".  I gotta give it to Jay, his super power of learning one new Spanish word for each album is tremendo! Wait, Jay. Who are those women in the video? No no no Jay. You have a woman. Don't you remember? Do you remember any of this???  Look at my tattoos Jay! It says, oh shit....it says "Don't answer the phone."

Where did this start off? Lift Off?  We're talking about Watch The Throne.  We're Watching The Throne? Everybody slow down for a second!  Don't let me get in my zone, you are now watching the throne, Leonard Shelby up on the throne. You Are Now Watching The Throne. You are now watching the throne. You are now watching the Throne Don't Let Me Get Into My Zone You Are Now Watching The Don'tLetMeGetIntoMyZoneYouAreNowWatchingTheThroneDon'tLetMeGetIntoMyZone YouAreNowWatchingTheThroneDon'tLetMeGetIntoMyZoneAllowMeToReintroduceMyselfMyNameIsHO!YouAreNowWatchtingTheThroneDon'tLetMeGetIntoMyNameIsLeonardShelbyDon'tLetMeGetIntoMyZone YouAreNowLeonardShelbyMyNameIsLeonardShelbyYouAreNowLeonardShelbyMyNameIsLeonardShelby YouAreNowLeonardShelbyMyNameIsLeonardShelbyYouAreNowLeonardShelbyMyNameIsLeonardShelby YouAreNowLeonardShelbyMyNameIsLeonardShelbyYouAreNowLeonardShelbyMyNameIsLeonardShelby YouAreNowLeonardShelbyMyNameIsLeonardShelbyYouAreNowLeonardShelbyMyNameIsLeonardShelby

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