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August 28, 2017

But it seems like they just wanted to talk about Brienne and Tormund getting together

Even in a world of dragons and zombies, people still question the scientific accuracy of certain aspects of Game of Thrones. So we turned to some of the brightest minds in science for their reactions:

Bill Nye the Science Guy

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Could ravens really fly across Westeros so quickly?

“Great question. Once we have basic assumptions on velocity and distance, this one boils down to one of those pesky high school math word problems. If we reasonably assume 50 miles per hour as an average flying speed for 20 hours a day, we are talking 1000 miles per day! It’s a fun scientific thought exercise, sort of like picturing the hypothetical offspring of Tormund and Brienne. What a specimen! Imagine those two sets of DNAs allowed to combine. Imagine those two parents’ giant bare bodies meeting in biology’s most sacred evolutionary ritual: Armor and fur strewn across a cabin floor; battle-hewn muscle and pale scarred flesh mashing and rubbing in pure ecstasy by flickering firelight; red and platinum hair soaked in sweat. All scored by a soundtrack of raw animal-like growls and shrieks… Wow. Just wow. What was the question again? Something about how they do the mining? By the way, I sure hope Tormund is still around. He has such great chemistry with Brienne. No pun intended.”

Neil deGrasse Tyson

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Could a full-size dragon actually fly?

“Granted this is clearly a fictional fantasy world, I have to ask why so many people are suspicious of this from a scientific perspective. There is no law of nature that says big things can’t fly. It’s like saying big people can’t be tender. Or like a giant bearded wildling couldn’t softly caress every inch of an imposing yet completely unsure female knight’s body and gently but assuredly lead her through her first encounter in a lover’s embrace. For Brienne has long dedicated herself to protecting others, does she not deserve to ever feel protected herself? And do we not deserve to get to watch? And when I say watch, I mean everything.”

Michio Kaku

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How fast could they build a fleet of one thousand ships?

“This is one of those things where you honestly have to let scientific accuracy slide. Do you really want to spend an entire season, maybe seasons, of an otherwise action-packed fantasy show watching the cumbersome tedium of early ship-building? No, you want to see other things: Like two of the show’s biggest badasses finally getting it on. Talk about raising masts, and you don’t have to be a PhD to know what I’m talking about.#TeamTormienne”

Richard Dawkins

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Just how inbred would a child of Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen be?

“Who cares? Who wants to waste their time on these frail wimps flailing on top of each other? Give us the good stuff, baby. Tormund and Brienne just going nuts on each other, like smashing through walls and not even noticing it.”

Stephen Hawking

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What’s going on with Bran and all the time travel stuff?

“I honestly have no idea, but I hear HBO is doing spin-offs. What if, and I know this may be too out there, one of them is only about Brienne and Tormund? By some mistake, they keep getting sent through time, but they mostly just have sex.”