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January 09, 2010

Good Day Children,

You all are smelling real good.  A bunch of you've been drinking. Still drinking.  I whiff a little Eau De Tom Collins amongst your scents.  Sweet Sweet Collins.  Umm...makin' ol' HüX thirsty.
Whooo. Hang on a minute. There's a familiar bouquet rising up to spoil MY pleasure!  I know it's not from one of ya'll.  This here cloud's waftin' over the wall from the caption contest.
Smell it?  The stench of shitty-ass captions...Daaamn!!!
Stings the eyes. Crimps the pubes. Turns your teeth yellow, your breath chunky. 
Burns them membranes it does.  Any of you coke-heads would do yourselves right by grabbing some tissues before blood starts gushing out all over your keyboards!

HüX been hearing a lot of chatter going on 'round here regarding dyin', criticizin' and weepy eyes in need of dryin'.
So -
here's what YOURS TRULY is gonna do.
I'M gonna lay it out straight for the fools who think it's alright to post stupid shit for captions.  They will learn that it is not alright. I will not only "Die" their stank asses,  I will tell them why their caption is stupid shit too, in case they are unaware that their shit's stupider than pants on a pretzel and stinkier than their mama's cooch after fuckin' herself with a Jalaroni™
in the food court bathroom.
Anticipate the air getting back to fresh real soon.