Full Credits

Written by Becky Feldman

Stats & Data

March 04, 2009

Hey! Oh, hey there! What's up?  I was wondering if I could trouble you
for a few moments to talk to you about ways to save our environment.

Oh no! Please don't navigate away. I see your cursor going towards
your back button but I insist you please don't. I really do have
something important to say about the environment.

Oh, for the love of God, please don't close this window. I can only
take so much rejection in my life. Working for Green Peace is so hard.
I thought I was doing something productive after my boyfriend dumped
me. In reality, I face rejection day after day as people walk by me.
It's like getting dumped all over again, except this time the people
don't have the Ace of Spades tattooed on their chest.

Hey! I see you covering up your face with your scarf or pulling out
your Blackberry, pretending like you have an important email.

Ok, please don't check your email right now. I know with my previous
sentence I probably reminded you to check to see if your Amazon order
shipped, but I seriously would love a minute of your time to talk to
you about the environment. Finding the tracking number on your
shipment of the Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack can totally wait,

Okay, great thanks for staying. So here is what I have to say about
the environment:

Oh, hey! Wait! Where are you going? No! No! Can't video conferencing
with your niece wait?