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Published March 19, 2013 More Info »
1,084 Funny Votes
132 Die Votes
Published March 19, 2013
hello i am prince. i am sexy. :) funny or die called and asked me 2 write a blog 4 u. i said 2 the people at funny or die, “can i blog about the sky?” they said, “u can do whatever u want 2 do, u r prince.” i said, “thank u, i know.” i was invited 2 play at sxsw by samsung mobile. they make tiny computers that u can keep in ur pocket and they connect u with erotic satellites. i do not need a computer 2 connect with erotic satellites. all i need 2 do is shake my thing. ;) samsung mobile said 2 me, “hi prince. we r a company. please bring us pleasure.” i said 2 samsung, “what kind of pleasure do u desire?” they said, “we need u 2 play a funk’d up show!” i said, “okay, i will play a show 4 u, please PayPal me $47 million dollars 2 my e-mail address” they sent me $47 million dollars, but then i decided, i also wanted them 2 send me a crystal vase filled with desire. samsung said 2 me, “prince, we don’t know how 2 send u a crystal vase filled with desire.” i said 2 them, “u r tough negotiators and i respect u 4 it.” i decided 2 bring all 274 members of my band with me 2 austin. we flew 2gether on a purple spaceship and then we took a pedicab 2 the convention center 2 pick up our badges. when I got there, they couldn’t find my credentials. :( i said, “hello i am prince” and they said, “we can’t find u in the system.” i cried in2 some roses and then they found my pass. i decided 2 give my pass 2 a swan because i do not need a pass because i am prince. i named the swan “imagination.” that swan is my funky friend. :) once we were all checked in, i decided 2 fly 2 tunisia 4 some tea. then we came back 2 austin and caught the so so glos play at the spin party. they crazy. we got 2 the venue 2 play the show and it was purple. some funk’d up little man from samsung keep tryin 2 talk 2 me while i was preparing 2 bring the funk. i would not look him in the eye and told him, “if u want 2 speak 2 me, u read my tweets.”     hi @samsungmobileus only let the beautiful ones in2 my show 2night or i will not play, p.s. i am not going on until 7am — Prince (@PrinceTweets2U) March 17, 2013   no @samsungmobileus i do not want 2 take a picture with a grumpy cat u need 2 leave me alone b4 my show — Prince (@PrinceTweets2U) March 17, 2013 the people at @samsungmobileus want me 2 do a song with some1 called macklemore 2nite but i do not know who he is — Prince (@PrinceTweets2U) March 17, 2013 finally, they left me alone in my dressing room and i got ready 2 take the stage. here is the setlist from the show: after that i left the stage 4 about 3 hours. i came back and played 26 encores. i’m actually going 2 go out and play 7 more songs after i finish typing this blog. it was a beautiful experience 4 the children of a new atmosphere. i am a servant of the funk and proud 2 bring it 2 u with exquisite understanding. thank u 4 reading my blog, i am prince. - sent from my iPhone (samsung galaxy is 4 the devil)