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With internet media, racy headlines get clicks.  So do explicit pictures.  The two combined is a almost always a formula for success.  However, in this instance, the Huffington Post has taken things too far.


Let me tell you, if the headline doesn’t catch your attention, I bet the picture of Kourtney Kardashian performing fellatio on a Popsicle will do it.

Better yet, once you’ve actually clicked on the article the headline is tweaked to read, “Kourtney Kardashian Talks Painful Post-Pregnancy Sex, Buying Lube (VIDEO)”.  Yeah, that’s the ticket.  Once you’re intrigued by the “very painful” sex, HuffPo pulls it back a notch by simply making it “painful”, then puts a cherry on top with “buying lube”.

Given the popularity of leaked smut amongst celebrities of Kardashian’s status, part of me wondered if I was clicking on a link to a sex tape.  To be honest, I was a little disappointed that it wasn’t.

I imagine the sex tape starting with scrambled video of Kourtney talking to some poor kid at the pharmacy counter.  She says, “My vagina is all dry from giving birth.  Where’s your lube?”  The pharmacist asks, “Are you Kourtney Kardashian?”  “Yeah, you want a picture?” she replies.  The pharmacist throws up in his mouth a bit, swallows it, and says, “No, thank you.  I already have an unfortunately vivid mental picture.”

Then the video cuts to Kourtney coming home to her husband/boyfriend/Odom (I don’t know which Kardashian is which, nor do I feel it’s worth my time to figure it out) and says, “I found a solution to my dry vagina.”  He throws up a bit and wipes the sugared candies off his shirt (if he’s Odom) and says, “Okay, but this is going to be very painful.”  They then proceed to have sex with the lights on, almost fully clothed, neither of them enjoying themselves.  At the end, Kardashian mutters, “I am newsworthy” and a promo bump for the Huffington Post flashes on screen with a link to a related article:

“Bristol Talks Painful Post-Pregnancy Dancing, Buying Votes (NUDE PICS)”

My name is t.j. and this headline scares off advertisers.

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