Tis the season when lonely hearts start mingling for warmth. This year to avoid getting bugs try the "close-up waive" instead of a handshake or hug. And if someone offers their hand tell them you just fingered a crack whore. If that doesn't compel the potential viral transmitter to withdraw then simply spit in your palm and declare: Spit Shake! Or Go ahead and just shake hands. The communal cold needs our help to survive. As do the all-controlling Pharmaceutical Industry Giants that make up three of the five families inside the Star Chamber of Commerce.