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Published November 15, 2013 The Crypt More Info »
570 Funny Votes
2,625 Die Votes
Published November 15, 2013
The PS4 can… allow you to play all the hot new games coming out this fall, including Aliens Are Coming Shoot Them Hurry!!, The Army Guys, and Sports. devour whole your shameful PS3 before the guys come over to see your new PS4.  post your high scores online, because your right to do so is why your grandpa fought in that war. read to you Proust’s In Search of Lost Time while you spend hours after hours controlling a guy who kills imaginary goblins with a sword. go onto the Internet and order a pizza for you, if you think that’s a good idea. cost $400. be programmed to issue reminders, such as “stop playing every 16 hours to pee” or “make student loan payment.”   The PS4 cannot… accommodate all PS1, PS2, and PS3 external accessories. Check the Sony website for more details. play PS1 games. That copy of Crash Bandicoot your dad got you for your 14th birthday isn’t going to see the light of day anytime soon. allow you to remotely play against your dad. Your dad is dead. You need to admit that, Ben. So you can begin the healing process. I know you hadn’t spoken in years. I think that’s exactly why you’re having such a hard time grieving. True, you never got to patch things up. Or even say goodbye. But that doesn’t mean you can’t do that now. It's easy. Just say, “Dad, I forgive you, and I love you.” Of course he can hear you. Yes, you’re right. Things are never going to be the same. But what in life stays the same, you know?