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June 11, 2009


So...seventy some odd years later Archie Andrews hawks the jalopy to buy some bling and the proposal goes to....Veronica Lodge. Wow. Although I have been impressed by his years of playing both girl-next-door Betty Cooper and uber-Bitch VL with such a gumpish finesse, I have to say that this proposal takes the cake. Snotty Veronica Lodge, who only gives Archie the time of day when he has a date with BFF Betty Cooper, and who is selfish and maliscious to the core while kind hearted, generous albeit somewhat naive Betty suffers from a broken heart. Veronica will moan at and be suspicious of Betty for not running to cater to her whim, only to have Betty cheerfully explain that she's working two jobs, babysitting and mowing lawns to save money to buy a special dress to wear for her date with Archie. Veronica will weasel the details from Betty and then run to the store NOT to use her copious resources to help out her "friend", but to buy the dress herself and then wear it to school the day of Betty and Archie's date. Veronica Lodge, who has every advantage in the world and has a parlor of beaus throwing themselves at her ungrateful feet, absolutely soils herself at the idea of Archie paying attention to someone else, she will go so far as to feign injury and allow Archie and Betty to both guiltily forego their date to tend to her "needs" and ultimately be exposed for her spiteful tomfoolery, yet Archie still goes back for more, and to her great disservice, so does Betty. I have a question for Archie, and Betty for that matter. Why does Archie slave away at the garage and do chores for neighbors to earn enough money to splash out on Veronica and never Betty? Given that it's Betty who brings him freshly squeezed lemonade while he slaves in the sun, bakes him yummy apple pies and tutors him with his homework, as opposed to Veronica who knocks his dick in the dirt and essentially flips them both the bird as she rides by in Reggie's convertible...has it ever occurred to Archie that maybe instead of actively seeking to give MORE to Veronica, who already has a standing reservation at the Ritz, that maybe it would be nice to elevate Betty every once and a while and treat her to a proper date? You know? Instead of letting her buy the strawberry malted with two straws while they sit in that heap he calls a car bitching about how he can't afford to make an impression on Ms Lodge, maybe Betty could handle a sip of Dom and some lobster tail instead of Dutch dates at the Chcolate Shoppe. It's just as much Betty's fault as it is Archies for allowing this behaviour, and to her credit, Betty just doesn't think that way, all she wants is time with Archie, but what Archie wants is his ass kicked. I think it's just desserts that he's marrying the Lodge punta because that is a life I couldn't even imagine. Hopefully, Betty will see it for the luck that it is and make some time for a guy who's got some game and treats her right.