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August 03, 2009


BangBoomCrash Post Of The Week

You say tomato, I say POW #8!*

Sitting in my chair the other night watching the newest rerun of something or other there was a commercial for The Olive Garden. The commercial started out just fine, showing a nice dinner between a mother and her son. Then the mother says something to the effect of 'Nights when dad works late, we treat ourselves to a speical meal'. I thought to myself 'that's not fair'. Why does she only have a nice dinner when dad works late? This guy is out working hard, putting in overtime and she's out gorging herself on quality Italian?!?

I don't know about you lady, but that's not how a marriage works. Are you punishing him for working late? Does it make you feel good that you're eating fried calamari and he's sweating to pay for it? I mean at the least you can bring the guy home some salad and breadsticks - they're unlimited, they'll give you as much as you want! Just ask for one more order right before your 'Taste of Italy' gets there, and don't eat that order. Get a 'To Go' bag and surprise him when he gets home. "Aw, salad and breadsticks" he'll say "I'm glad you are sharing your special meal with me, since I had to work late"

Yeah right, she wouldn't do that. She's probably bad mouthing this guy to her son anyway...that's probably why she only takes him out to dinner when 'dad works late'. It's probably like "Hey, remember how your dad didn't want to buy you that Wii...and I got it for you? That was weird huh? Hey, want some more salad and breadsticks? Make sure you only eat what they give us and don't order anymore".

I can't stand this lady! Her marriage is in ruins and she's probably saving room for dessert. Well guess what lady, your husband is planning to take you to The Olive Garden for your anniversary in two weeks. Try to fake your surprise when the waiter knows you by name.

Olive Garden

*I also say 'toe-mot-toe'

Written by: Mike Albright