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Published September 11, 2008

Your boss is a total asshole...I'm obligated as a human being to forewarn you guys. I happened upon him at a dog park in SanFrancisco and after being exposed to a mere 7 minutes of his jabbering while my girlfriend's dog dropped a deuce, I had to really fight the impulse to punch him in the dick. Which is how I operate when I get gangster. He was blabbing about his new promotion to Southwest Commercial Services Manager and how 'When he got to San Diego, heads would roll.' He needed people that think 'out of the box' that 'lead from the front' and 'don't masturbate at work.' I'm fuzzy on the last one, but it's not really important to the story. He went on to tell a wonderful story about how he and Tricia blew 8 g's on a Napa Valley wine getaway they won at an auction to benefit the 'Bottle Nose Dolphins Without Fathers Foundation.' He explained that he would've bought another case of the '87 Shiraz, but the luggage space on in his new Porsche Turbo Cabriolet is very limited. They were going to stay longer but they had to meet the interior designer that's putting the indoor Chinese rock garden in the Aspen Condo. Jenna said she did Victoria Beckham's two sons playhouses servants quarters and it made the cover of Vogue Child last year. She's an artist. The rest from there is just a muted 'blah,blah,blah,blah with that sound on Charlie Brown they play when ever an adult talks. But I couldn't take my eyes off the popped color on his canary yellow Izod, his white Ralph Lauren ribbed tennis sweater tied around the waste of his linen capri pants. Luckily I was able to break away and walk off before I blacked out. I lived to tell this story. So to any of you whose jobs fall under this colossal douche bag's jurisdiction, you are truly, truly fucked...Stay thirsty my friends.

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