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August 12, 2008


My wife.....

My wife becomes very angry with me nowadays.

She is angry because I am always on the computer.

She feels as though I ignore her.

She feels like I would rather be posting stupid comments than sit with her.

My solution?

I have decided to make my wife hate me.

I will stop bathing.

I will immediately begin begin using feces as a substitute for deodorant.

I will let my hair become nappy, and encourage insects to lay their eggs in it.

I will no longer be wearing clothing, except for a potato chip bag over my genitals, in which I will also store my unfiltered Camel cigarettes, which I will smoke one after another in the same room as my wife and our baby.

Once I have made these life changes, I will no longer be pestered with her selfish demands to do things like "take care of the baby", "get a job", "stop using cocaine", and all her other silly rants.

Then I will be free to post as many comments as I want.