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October 06, 2014
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23 Fish Jokes

What did the fish say when he posted bail?
“I’m off the hook!”

Why don’t fish like basketball?
Cause they’re afraid of the net

Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon!

What do you call a fish with a tie?
soFISHticated

What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A Loan shark!

How do you make an Octupus laugh?
With ten-tickles

Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing?
Just for the halibut!

Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because there afraid of the net.

What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.

What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals?
Autotuna

Who do fish always know how much they weigh?
Because they have their own scales.

What is the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano but you cannot tuna fish.

Why did Sally go to the Lake after her brothers teased her?
To fish for compliments.

What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market?
Good morning ladies.

What did the salmon say when he swam into a wall?
Damn!

Whats the best way to catch a fish?
Have some one throw it at you.

What does the pope eat during lent?
Holy mackerel!

Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other tide.

How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance.

Who cleans the bottom of the ocean?
A Mer-Maid

Did you hear about the goldfish who went bankrupt?
Now he’s a bronze fish.

What happens when you put nutella on salmon?
You get salmonella

What did the magician say to the fisherman?
Pick a cod, any cod!

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