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February 22, 2015

There have been some really cinematic moments in 2015 lets take a look at the best.

9. A Broom


Mix Christopher Nolan and Federico Fellini together in a blender then take their blood and smear it on your face. That’s how amazing A Broom is. If you haven’t seen it yet, go pester a janitor who is working hard or go to a dollar store and look around.

8. A TV With Static


An auteur classic art house/thriller/comedy with neorealist tones and subtle references to the early works of Vittorio DeSica, A TV With Static had critics yelling at their car mechanics because they were confused about all of the symbolism.

7. The Reflection in Nicole Kidman’s Left Eye


Arguably one of the greatest moments in history is The Reflection in Nicole Kidman’s Left Eye. Look closely and you will see your soul. Look even closer and you will see that you have no soul. That is the drive behind The Reflection in Nicole Kidman’s Left Eye. Not only does it depict humanity’s greatest struggles but the true struggle of your own soul.

6. Every Moment I’m Not Watching the Jimmy Falcon Show

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Jimmy Falcon is definitely one of the worst people to exist throughout all of time. So whenever you are not watching this half bird person make jokes about his dying uncle is one of the greatest moments of your life.

5. Teresa’s Blurry Instagram Photos


“Captivating” is an accurate description of Teresa’s Blurry Instagram Photos. It is a delicately curated array of seemingly nonsensical blurry photos of stuff she has eaten, or of her “just hanging out with the girly girls”. Truly, Teresa’s Blurry Instagram Photos are a woven spiritual plot that captures the fire in the hearts of many. They are an homage to the works of Sergio Leone or at least a blurry portrayal of the pain of growing up in a small town in Massachusetts with rich parents.

4. The Internet


With undertones of the passive aggressiveness of humanity spliced with the commentary of wondrous mythical monsters, The Internet is the only one on this list with a subscription based non-theatrical release. It was that kind of marketing, an ever-weaving plot and vibrant fonts that really blew the critics.

3. Drinking Alone

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From young to old Drinking Alone is something that everyone can enjoy. It’s the second in a trilogy and far greater than it’s predecessor Being Alone. It has captured what it means to truly be a useless person on this garbage planet while listening to old albums that meant something to you at a time when you were an innocent moron. I look forward to the third installment in the trilogy, tentatively titled Dying Alone.

2. A Drawing of a Cat


Not since Vermeer has any work conveyed such realistic nuances of light. With a steady hand and lots of smooshing about with different colours and stuff, you experienced a whimsical tail of love and pain. Mushing together Nietzscheian ideals with urban-republic outlooks, A Drawing of a Cat shall surely enrich audiences for eons.

1. When My Eyes Are Closed


Sometimes it’s dark. Sometimes there are little speckles of what seem like stars. It can last a moment or a night. What’s so engaging about When My Eyes are Closed is that it cleans my eyeballs out, making it easier to look when they are not closed. Not to mention,the mind-bending special effects and the gripping plot are so grand. When My Eyes Are Closed is definitely the most cinematic moment of 2015, maybe even 2016. Maybe not. I hope they never open again.