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August 09, 2010

The Future is Now.

 Well, my current T.V. is about 8 years old (primitive by today's standards), and I've come into a little bit of money, so I'm planning on purchasing a new 3D TV. I know it's fairly new technology, but, as I look at it, I spend alot of time watching the boob tube, so it'll be a solid and very selfish investment. Plus, I have to keep up with the Jones's (those sons-a-bitches always making me buy new stuff).  I know they're kind of gimmicky and wearing the glasses for any extended period of time will probably give me a massive headache, but it's cool, and I want it. I can't wait to watch sports, and cartoons, and even reruns of Frasier in 3D, but that's not the reason I'm buying.  No, I'm buying it to watch porn. I know my girlfriend won't like it, but damnit, I'm gonna get my money's worth out of this thing.  Can you imagine,  a room full of titties so close you can almost reach out and touch them, or a private strip tease on your coffee table?  " Hey J.B., that Asian chick looks like she's bending over your bookshelf!" ---"I know dude...I know."  I mean, the possibilities are endless.  Of course, I guess the same could be said for dicks....I don't really want a bunch of mandingo bananas swinging around in my face....I guess I'll be watching a lot of lesbian porn.