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photo credit<p><a href="http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1529">Image: hinnamsaisuy / FreeDigitalPhotos.net</a></p>

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2Funny
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128
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September 25, 2011
Published
Description

A commercial script for Real Trash. Save thousands a year by using Real Trash!

Real Trash: - Commercial Script
The Problem:

Announcer: “Do you throw away hundreds or even thousands of dollars in trash every year?” 

Visual: (Black and white footage) Woman at the curb of a suburban home holding a torn trash bag. On the ground is a Superman #1 comic, a broken Tiffany lamp, a jewell encrusted scepter.

Announcer: “Of course you do. It’s your right...as an American!”

Visual: American flag tossed on trash.

Announcer: “What if I told you there was a way to keep throwing away all that trash while saving money?”

Visual: Woman salutes camera with half-eaten turkey leg.

The Solution:

Announcer: “By replacing your valuable, American trash, with Real Trash from around the world you could save millions a year. Millions of Rupees that is...Bobby!”

Cut To: Spokesman Bobby, standing on a massive landfill of garbage in India. Tractors belch smoke and move mountains of trash. Impoverished, shoeless children pick through the garbage.

Bobby: (yelling) "By filling your bags with cheaper trash from around the world, you'll be throwing away a lot less money! Save the children? Real Trash, saves you money!"

One of the children reaches out to hold his hand. He pulls back violently and holds out his arm. A crew member runs over and pours rubbing alcohol over his hand.

Announcer: “Get well soon Bobby.”

Cut to: (Color footage) Same suburban woman at the curb with a broken garbage bag. This time she bends down and we see, syringes, asbestos and Going Rouge, by Sarah Palin amid organic waste. The woman sifts through the trash with her hand as glamorously as she can. She vomits on Palin’s book. She wipes her mouth. There is a syringe stuck in her hand. 

Announcer: We have: (scrolling on screen) Chinese melamine milk, Irish bank stocks, Chinese mercury baby formula, Mexican Viagra (trust me), Chinese lead toys, the Euro, and much, much more...

Testimonials:

Cut to: Judy, 40, siting on her couch. She looks pale and thin. 

Judy: “I ordered Real Trash about six months ago and we started throwing out a lot less of our own more expensive, American trash right away.” She coughs into a Kleenex. Blood is clearly present.

Announcer: “Be like Judy and millions of other satisfied customers...”

Judy: (Interrupting) “But then our regular trash started backing up in the house, in the fridge, in my kids room...”

Announcer: “...and for a limited time, if you order now...”

Judy: “...and my daughter caught something called Thrush.” 

Camera pulls back to see young blonde girl sitting next to Judy playing with her hair and sucking her thumb. Judy wretches again. 

Judy: “And I pricked my hand with a needle from China and got something called (heavy Chinese accent) Qua D'ong Li.” 

Daughter easily pulls out a tooth from her mouth and hands it to Judy.

Announcer: “Just one smell of Real Trash and you won’t be able to wait to throw it away. (Quickly) Medical bills and resulting medical conditions are not covered by Real Trash Inc. LLC.”

Closeup on daughter. She smiles and is missing a few teeth. 

Visual: Real Trash logo over daughters face.

Announcer: “Order today!”

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