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February 20, 2009
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(from my blog at whatgives.gainesville.com)

It happens almost every time I go to a drive-through.

Things are moving quickly. They’re properly putting the “fast” in “fast food.” And I’m the kind of happy one can only be before ingesting an insane amount of calories. (I’m not so thrilled afterward.)

Then, a car up ahead moseys up to the big menu and ... stays there ... forever.

I’m patient for a few minutes.

“Maybe he is ordering for his whole family,” I think. “Or a small village.”

Time tick, tick, ticks.

Stomach grumble, grumble, grumbles.

“OK,” I grouse. “Has he never been to a drive-through before? Is this too complex for him? Why is he still talking? What on Earth is he DOING!”

As I continue to wait, I imagine the conversation taking place a few cars up.

DRIVER: “Hi.”

DRIVE-THROUGH: “May I take your order?”

DRIVER: “Yes you may.”

Silence.

DRIVE-THROUGH: “Any time you are ready sir.”

DRIVER: “Who, me?”

DRIVE-THROUGH: “Yes sir.”

DRIVER: “What are your specials?”

DRIVE-THROUGH: “Just what’s on the menu sir.”

DRIVER: “Huh. Because some restaurants have specials. And lobster bibs.”

DRIVE-THROUGH: “Excuse me?”

DRIVER: “Do you have any bibs?”

DRIVE-THROUGH: “Uh, noooo. We’re not a fish place.”

DRIVER: “Huh. Interesting. How long have you worked at this non-fish place.”

DRIVE-THROUGH: “Can you just order sir.”

DRIVER: “Yes I can.”

Silence.

DRIVE-THROUGH: “Please order sir. People are waiting.”

DRIVER: “I know. I’m starting to get a little high off of the exhaust fumes.”

DRIVE-THROUGH: “Sir ...”

DRIVER: “All right. You got me. I’d like fries.”

DRIVE-THROUGH: “Will that be it for you sir?”

DRIVER: “And a Coke.”

DRIVE-THROUGH: “OK. Pull forward ...”

DRIVER: “And a hamburger.”

DRIVE-THROUGH: “Will that be it?”

DRIVER: “And a chocolate shake.”

Silence.

DRIVE-THROUGH: “OK sir. We’ll have your total at the window.”

DRIVER: “Actually, I’d like to wait right here for the total. I need to know if I have enough pennies to cover all this. Take you’re time. I’ll just be counting while I wait. One, two, three, four, five ...”

Yes, that would certainly explain things.
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