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November 26, 2009
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BangBoomCrashPOW

Ugh.

Are you wondering why the POW banner this week looks weird? Well, this POW is the Thanksgiving edition, so I asked our graphics department (Stefan) to "make me a banner for POW #24 and include turkey".

The POW banner above is the official flag of Turkey, which has nothing to do with turkey. Still a pretty cool banner though, right?

Anyway, on to the POW.

Remember how we did a pros and cons list for the Halloween POW? Well...

Pros and Cons: Thanksgiving!

Pro: Turkey, duh!
Obviously, the whole point of Thanksgiving is the outlandish amount of food you will be shoving down your throat, but the best part of any of it is the turkey. I mean, what is this miracle food? It's like that kid in high school that had a bookbag full of candy and just shared it with everyone because that’s how he made friends, ya know? Well, turkey is that kid. I mean white meat for you, dark meat for me...plus, hey, what's that inside? Stuffing? Surprise! Plus when you're done eating, it even puts you to sleep with its Tryptophan lullaby. Mmmm. Freakin' PRO.

Con: "Turkey"
Or "Tofurky". Tofu turkey. Gross, seriously. I've never eaten it but I can say with 100% confidence that it is disgusting. I know this because it is sold in brick form. The only food that is acceptable in brick form is cheese. Anyway, everyone knows at least one person who prefers tofurkey over the right thing but hopefully you're lucky enough to know/hate this person enough that you can refuse when they offer it, but in the off chance that it's your girlfriend/boyfriend - sorry you're gonna have to choke this garbage down. Con.

Pro: This might be the year.
In every family there's that confused teenaged cousin that you know is gay, but just hasn't come out yet. Every family gathering, you hope and hope that this is the year that he stands up and announces that Keith isn't just his roommate. You want him to come out because it's probably the most freeing thing a gay person can do and he owes it to himself to be honest and proud and true and not back down to who he truly is inside, but also because it'd really piss grandma off. Pro!

Con: The kids table
The kids table would be cool if it were all your peers, but the kids table in most families can be for kids aged anywhere from 2-12. At 12 years old you're cool enough to chill and eat your turkey and stuffing without throwing your food at the person sitting next to you. However, the two year old sitting next to you, isn’t. Con.

Con: The Macy's day parade.
Why do you watch it every year? Tradition? The only thing on? Al Roker? For whatever reason, it's been on TV on Thanksgiving for 112 years and you watch it every year, even though it's all the same floats and same celebrities and same songs. None of the floats ever get loose and float off into the New York sky, so there's really no point in tuning in. Plus, Macy's must have some brass ones to try to rename Thanksgiving to Macy's Day. Con.

Pro: Black Friday
Good deals, great sales, getting Christmas shopping done early, instant rebates. Pro.

Con: Black Friday
Traffic jams, bad drivers, rude people, long lines, disgruntled employees, not-so-instant rebates. Con.

Well, it looks like the cons win on this one - but what kind of Pilgrim would I be if I declared Thanksgiving a bad holiday?

Hey Thanksgiving, you’re a-ok.

Happy Thanksgiving from BangBoomCrash!

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