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February 01, 2010
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And Now For Something Completely Different!

Every time I think I’ve come up with something new for this blog space I get gobsmacked with something else. Try as I might I just can’t get away from the Redneck/Podunk theme that seems so pervasive here in Norfolk County.

Upon scanning the local weekly Want Ad paper (The Lakeshore Shopper), my eyes were draw to this particular advertisement. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw that they were going to hold a DEMOLITION DERBY, in the snow, in the winter.

They even have classes:

Pro Class (Are there actually professional Demolition Derbiers

Full Sized Straight Stock (The NASCAR of demolition, I presume.)

Minimash (As opposed to the Maximash?)

The Lucas Oil 4cyl Figure Eight Race

(Say what? I think that’s the one where all hell breaks loose in the middle cross-over section. Bang-Smash-Pow!)

I’m glad they boldly stated that SNOW TIRES are REQUIRED! There wouldn’t be much smashing if the cars couldn’t move. The crowd would be screaming, “More sand! More salt! Bring on the front end loaders!”

Now let me tell you a little something about Tillsonburg. That’s the place “Stomping’ Tom Connors” sang about. (He of the piece of plywood stomped into kindling as he sings.)

“Tillsonburg, Tillsonburg, my back still aches when I hear that word!”

CHECK THIS OUT

http://www.stompintom.com/

You see, at one time, this fair community was in the heart of tobacco country. Old Tom was singing about priming those leaves by hand out in the fields. Tom is also the writer of that classic, “The Good Old Hockey Game.”

Another famous local is Colin Campbell, one of the Vice Presidents of the National Hockey League. He’s the guy that doles out the suspensions for head shots and the like. Perhaps they could bring him in for the Derby to monitor the “hitting from behind.” No, that wouldn’t work in a Demo Derby, would it!

So I thought that maybe we can have a little fun with this concept of a winter Demolition Derby.

Can you give me one of the top ten things you might see or do at a Winter Demolition derby?

OR

Can you provide more rules for the competitors, since the only one posted is SNOW TIRES REQUIRED?

Here are the actual DD rules if you’re interested.

http://www.ontariodemoderby.com/rules.htm

BTW, back when I was a classroom teacher one of my students, Josh, told me about how he and his grand pappy prepared GRAIN COMBINES for the GRAIN COMBINE Demolition Derby. That’s right, massive combines fighting it out for smash-up derby supremacy. Did I mention that the boy was 12 and drove transport trucks for his grandpa on back country roads?

Welcome to Hooterville!

Hi Ho!

 Have a great day.  

 JIMBOBALOUIE

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