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January 28, 2013

God and Jesus would appreciate this.

The BET Awards, the Soul Train Awards, and other award shows that celebrate black entertainers frustrate me because every winner starts off with some version of “Thank you, God and Jesus.” I have nothing against thanking them. It’s just that I don’t need to hear it 30 times in a 2-hour span. And given that God and Jesus are omniscient, neither do they. Here’s a solution:  At the start of the award show the MC says, “God and Jesus, on behalf of the all the soon-to-be-announced winners, thank you.” This will shave at least 15 minutes off the acceptance speeches and allow for more singing, dancing, and joking – the stuff TV viewers really care about. How would you shorten acceptance speeches?

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