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August 29, 2008


As I'm going through my newsfeed a couple days ago, I read Lois Lane's blog-


I thought  the 'Dr Seuss goo' comment was really funny and told her so.

So what do I get in my comments?


Thanks for checking out my blog. And thanks for the kind words. I would write an adult  Dr. Seuss series if I had more creative writing time. I miss those days.

Some other kid rip-off titles I considered working on…

1. Moby Dick and the Adventures of Papa Boner

2. James and the Giant Beeotch (that would likely be about Oprah and James Frey)

3. Black Beauty Digs Jungle Fever

4. My Little Pony Rides Black Beauty

5. Pocket Pool and Other Fun Activities for a Wet Day

6. Clifford the Big Red Dog and His Big Red Dong

7. Green Eggs and the Pig That Fertilized Them

8. Charlotte’s Web of Lies About Where Pork Really Comes from

9. The Little Engine That Couldn’t Because His Drunk Step Dad Said He’d Never Make Anything of Himself

10. Girls Are From Venus and Boys Cum With a Penis

11. Families Are Forever Unless Daddy Runs Off With His Secretary… Again

12. Brown Bear, Brown Bear, Do You Really Shit in the Woods?

13. The Very Hungry Caterpillar Ate Mommy’s Garden and She Killed Him

14. Piglet Looks in the Toilet for Pooh

15. Debbie Does Daycare

16. Split Pea Soup for Your Little Exorcist’s Soul

17. Curious George Swings Both Ways

And then there was the “Sometimes” series, inspired by a stupid bitch who said to my nephew, after he said his mommy died, “That’s okay, honey. Sometimes mommies die.”:

18. Sometimes Your Sister is a Whore but She Did Help Daddy Get His Promotion

19. Sometimes Teachers Know You’re Dumb

20. Sometimes Santa Doesn’t Bring Little Bastards Presents

21. Sometimes Santa Ass Slams Rudolph, Which is How He Got So Famous

22. Sometimes You Really Should Run With Scissors

23. Sometimes Strangers Don’t Just Have the Best Candy, They Also Have Really Cool Dungeons in Their Basements

24. Sometimes Daddies Drink, Pop Pills, Eat Pussy and Move on Down the Road

25. Sometimes Hookers Give Daddies the Clap and its Nothing to Applaud

26. Sometimes Mommies Use Meth Because Diets Just Don’t Work

27. Sometimes Mommies Cook Meth Instead of Food Because Sending You to Kiddie Fat Camp is Embarrassing

28. Sometimes Grandma Likes to Rob the Cradle and She Has Her Eye on Your Friends

29. Sometimes Father Flannigan Makes Sister Mary Margret Get on Her Knees Too

30. Sometimes Daddy Blows Your College Fund on His Online Gambling Debt


THEN she sends me these links-




I was spooked when she said "Dead Man Driving' because it's so similar to my Dead Wrong Turn post.

Anyway, I just love people like this.

Amy, Laurie, Lois and a whole mess of others make my life better by inspiring me. Each funny in their own, unique way.

I like to share talented people. I think it makes us all better.

Happy Labor Day to those going away for a few days. Have fun, be safe.