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May 19, 2011

What should I wear for Judgement Day?

Looks like things are turning around for Newt Gingrich. Maybe you’ve seen that a protestor dumped glitter on him.

But this is exciting for Newt because his campaign managers want to make lemonade out of lemons so they are trying to get Newt on the next episode of Glee. He’s going to break into Sky Rockets in Flight.

Are you ready for the apocalypse? Predictions from a small American religious sect have gained widespread attention. They predict that May 21, 2011 is “Judgment Day” based on adding up dates in the bible.


Stephen Hawking checked their math and came to the conclusion that Kirk Cameron is a douche. Who knew you could prove that with math?

In clown news, Ronald McDonald, the orange and white face of McDonalds is under attack by nutrition advocates who want him to be retired.

In related news, the Hamburgler will become the face of McDonalds’ new Steal My Meat’ campaign. I think it needs a little work.

In Movie news, Jodie Foster’s Beaver got a standing ovation in Cannes.

The French. Cmon show some class. In America we respect our filmmakers for their art , not their pets.

The Olsen twins showed up at the new york premier of Woody Allen’s new film. But, as you can see, being the great method actors they are, they never broke character from their roles as dying vampires for the latest twilight film: ‘The Blood Drought.