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August 23, 2011

Just me talkin ish'!!

Gays, don’t fly into an uproar over the use of the word, “gay” in this blog. I’ve been a member of the LGBT Community since birth. I can use the word, “gay” anytime or anyway I feel. Gay, gAy, GAy, gaY, GaaaaaaaaaaaYY, Ga Ga Ga Ga GAY. See. So please sit down and STFU. We’ve been a little too militant lately.

Obama lovers, IDGAF about how much you love our President. I love our country more. Yes, I voted for him and will vote for him again (if Ron Paul doesn't run). FYI, both my parents are black. Yes, I am a gay white man trapped in a well-endowed, athletic black man’s body. That does not make my opinion bias in any way. I’m stating my opinion (and some facts).

It took at least nine people to convince me President Obama wasn’t gay after he signed the debt ceiling deal. He really took it up the ass from the Republicans on this one. John Boehner put the Vaseline on the President’s desk and said, “Grit your teeth and sign sir.” My intuition tells me President Obama is well-endowed. I never pictured him being the bottom of the relationship.

We can’t categorize this as an ass raping because President Obama had all the power.  He had the Republican’s balls in his hands and he would rather get “tea bagged”, instead of squeezing and bringing them to their knees. How could he have done that? I’m so glad you asked. The tax increases the Republicans were fighting would have mostly affected those with a high net worth.  For those who don’t know; net worth is the total assets minus total outside liabilities of an individual or corporation. Let’s take it a step further.

Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Larry Ellison and several others are worth BILLIONS of dollars. Bill Gates does not literally have $54 billion in the bank. His STOCK (ding-ding-ding-ding-ding) is what makes up a lot of his net worth. If the stock market were to crash, a lot of those rich individuals and corporations the Republicans are protecting would be fucked.

President Obama should have said, “John, I appreciate your loyalty to your party. It’s admirable that you’re fighting so hard to do what you believe is right.  I’ve already taken a hit from my party by agreeing to touch the sacred cows (SS & Medicare/Medicaid). Your party still has yet to offer a reasonable compromise. Cutting spending is the most logical course of action to reduce our debt. Cutting spending without tax increases is the most illogical course of action to reduce our debt. There are two options available.”

He continues, “Option A: We close some of these tax loopholes and discontinue subsidies for some corporations making billion dollar profits every quarter. We do a small percentage increase on those individuals making over $250,000 a year. Oh yeah, and we end the Bush tax cuts too. John, I know Option A is a lot to process. That’s why I have an Option B. Option B: I don’t sign a damn thing and we default. Of course, the individuals and corporations you’re protecting will lose half their shit when the stock market crashes. The American people are already suffering. Those who you protect are doing just fine until the market opens August 3rd. I need a decision by July 31st. I don’t have time for the games. You’ve given me enough gray hairs for my fiftieth birthday. Anything delivered to me after July 31st will not be signed.”

Mr. President, I understand that average Americans have stock portfolios too. However, the average American has lost more than the Americans who received the best of the Bush tax cuts. We’ve lost so much that losing more wouldn’t be a big deal to us. We’re fine with being miserable when the rich are miserable with us. Misery loves company and we are in this fight together because we‘re all Americans.

Mr. President, we need for you to put your foot down and stop being the Republican’s bitch. We want you to take that huge Kenyan dick and shove it right up their Republican asses with no Vaseline. *Bad Visual* At least you will be the one doing the fucking this time. That’s not gay……..Ok……Maybe it is. No big deal. Most male Republicans are closeted homosexuals anyway. They’ve dreamed about a huge Kenyan dick. I digress. My point is; we will stand with you when you fight for us. Don’t be afraid to put it all on the line. You have people in the United States who are frustrated and struggling. Eventually, people will get to the point where they really have nothing to lose. That is how anarchy is born.