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July 02, 2015

Hey guys! Want some help with your hookup game? Make sure you close the deal (and ensure a second rendezvous) with this SEXY playlist!

Hey brooooooossssszzzzssz (Source: Total Frat Move) and chicks! Are you in a dry spell? Are you in a having-trouble-getting-a-second-hookup rut? Well, do I have the solution for you! The problem you are probably having is that you aren’t setting the mood. If you play this playlist from the time your sexy friend steps in the door, you’ll be all wrapped up by the end of the last track. GUARANTEED!

Mad World - Gary Jules

This first song is sure to set the mood of the evening.You know what they say, sadness is the body’s natural aphrodisiac. The only way to go is up!

The Bad Touch - Bloodhound Gang

Why proposition when you can get 5 dudes in chimpanzee suits “rapping” (?) nonsensical verses to do it for you?! The science in the song is infallible. Great for those nerd hookups. You know, the ones that happen backstage at a TEDx conference when you tell somebody you’re Neil deGrasse Tyson’s manager.

Ding Dong Song - Gunther

If the last song didn’t do it, this Swedish hit will make the point while simultaneously showing your worldliness. Contrary to popular belief, you can set the mood when it’s not “deep in de night.”

Wannabe - Spice Girls (optional)

For if you are trying to set up a group sex scenario.

The Scatman - Scatman John

This is self explanatory.

X Gon’ Give it to Ya - DMX

An important question every sexual partner should ask themselves before hooking up with you: “is this person trying to get with me or tell me they’ve been to jail?” You are IN, buddy! Also, this is a perfect way to casually drop that you go by a nickname that is just a single letter. And it’s the most EXTREME letter!!!

The Scatman - Scatman John

Gotta bring it back a notch to keep ‘em guessing. Surprises when it comes to sex are ALWAYS a turn on!

Godzilla (1998 cartoon series) Intro - Multiple Collaborators

This is where you’re gonna wanna whip it out. For those of us that are not as well endowed, wait until Godzuki’s intro.

Pump Me Up - Will Smith Ft. DJ Jazzy Jeff

I personally find it very difficult to get physically aroused without Pump Me Up from the Willenium album. Also, it has great instructions like, “do that thing where you snatch it back!” You’ll be able to “warm that thing up” in no time!

The Scatman - Scatman John

You haven’t made love until there’s been some ski bi di bi deep penetration while Scatman John’s flagship piece plays in the background.

The Scatman - Scatman John

“I hear you ask all about the meaning of scat
Well I’m the professor and all I can tell you
Is while you’re still sleeping
The saints are still weeping
‘Cause things you call dead haven’t yet had the chance to be born
I’m the scatman”

The Scatman - Scatman John

Seriously! It sounds like he is performing cunnilingus WHILE recording a multiplatinum song. Bonus points if you can time your moves with his!

Macarena - Los del Rio

Home stretch! Make sure to time your climax with the first “heeeyyyy Macarena.” Then roll over and doze off to the sweet sounds of the only song you have ever heard by Los del Rio.