I've noticed I've been getting a bit of attention from the fans of Black Guy and Fat Dude. Some believe I'm flabby yet cute, others claim I'm blatently flamboyant yet undeniably funny. I am writing to tell you that yes, I am all these things and no amount of your flattery/critiques will cause me to change. I am too proud/arrogant to listen/read your obvious/subtle cries/shouts. I can ill afford to/hardly wait for more of your comments/derisions when our next video/masterpiece premieres/explodes on your face.
***Please read the / as (slash), it just sounds better.
Forever Yours/Fuck Off,