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Additional Credits:
www.stateoftheweek.ca, dylan-rhymer.thestandupcomedians.com
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Published October 19, 2012

(EVERYWHERE) 5:23 pm. All the people in cars are made at all the people in cars. All the people in cars grew increasingly frustrated with all the other people in cars since they left their homes this morning and got in their cars, started the ignition, and drove onto the road to encounter all the other people in cars who are making them angry.

This is the second time today that all the people in cars are mad at all the people in cars, this time facing the opposite direction.

The people in cars are impatiently honking their horns at all the other people in cars, which is irritating other people in cars who are powerless to move their car at the behest of the horn-honking car operator behind them.

“MOVE! GO!” shouts a car-operating person over their shoulder, before settling down and  listening to the radio which is describing just how many people in cars there are, of which he is just one of millions. This only makes the experience more miserable, leading to a creeping sense of one’s own mortality in relation to the steady ebbing of life slipping away moment by moment, bumper by bumper…

FUCK! JUST GO!”

City officials are investigating the problem of all the people in cars. Possible solutions include widening the roads and building bridges and tunnels to accommodate even more people in their cars all at the same time, but in far larger amounts.

All the people in cars really hate all the people on bicycles who are already at home relaxing.


Dylan Rhymer’s live stand-up comedy special http://ow.ly/c0kUB

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