Have you seen the MemoryTag greeting card that says “Bitch you are Fan-F’cking-Tastic?”


This would be a great card to give a hot date who you have the hots for and who performed some kind of miraculous (I won’t say what) physical act on you that made what formerly had possibly been your miserable life seem at least for the moment worthwhile.

Which begs the question?

The F word, I shall refer to it as the “F word” because everybody reading this knows what I mean and there’s no reason to make easily offended prudes angrier than they already are.

Oh maybe I’ll spell it out—–partly.

The F word is one of the great mysteries of the English language. It is intended by many people to be used as an insult (as in “You mother- F word – er). Yet, it’s so strange, if you intend to use this word to insult someone (F you! Or go F yourself!)

We use a word that also means a feeling of intense pleasure, the sex act; the act of procreation.

To insult someone then, you’re for all intent telling them they are what amounts to a pleasurable act (fornication).

Is this really an insult?

Perhaps when someone calls you a “Fuc’er” you should answer, “Thank you. You’re very kind.”

When it comes to the F word therefore, we don’t really know what we mean.

Once again, I’ll repeat the irony; to wound someone verbally we use as an insult, a word that means the most pleasurable act of human existence (sex).

The F word can also be symbolized by extending a middle index finger. Since you have five fingers on each of two hands, it would make more sense to use the pinkie finger instead of the longest middle finger because then you would be saying in addition to calling the person the F word by gesture, that the tool he uses to do that (F word) is also tiny—-like a pinkie finger.

Two insults in one. Get it?

Instead, when you give the finger, you’re saying in effect that the person you wish to denigrate is akin to a pleasurable act similar to the same one that created you the insulter. And you’re using your longest finger which indicates that my penis (I who am being insulted), is also long—–symbolized by the longest of five fingers.

Literally translated then what does this mean?

“F you you Fuc’er! You have a huge dong and you’re like an intensely pleasurable act of the same kind that created me using this giant phallus of yours.”

You might respond to a punk after he gave you the finger, “I don’t know you, but you’re now one of my favorite people.”

In this case an insult is in fact a sort of subconscious praise of a (pardon the pun) stiff and rising nature.

Where did the F word come from? Apparently from Germany, way back in the 15th century, is the origin of the F word, which is fitting because a lot of German words end with the letters ER like Frankfurter and Hitler, which is also fitting because Hitler was a fuc’er.

In fact the German word for the F word back then was “ficken,” so that it could be said back in those days when you had sexual intercourse you were in the German parlance, “ficken with your dicken.”

Politicians use the F word regularly in fact it’s one of their favorites, from Lyndon Johnson who once told the Greek ambassador “Fu’k your parliament and constitution,” to Senator John McCain who told another U.S.Senator who had irritated him, “Fu’k you!” To former Vice President Dick Cheney, who told a Senate Democrat, “Go fu’k yourself!”

Obviously Cheney like the others didn’t seem to understand they were wishing a pleasurable experience on their political enemies and Cheney’s taunt was at best unrealistic because it is proven nearly impossible for anyone to “F yourself.”

Which brings us to the question, why do people use as an insult an experience that we all seek out and enjoy immensely (sex)?

I think there can only be one reason.


I would like to see the F word upgraded to the compliment it was always meant to be and there is no better way than a greeting card. Send someone special you really like a card that says “I hope you get (F word).”

You deserve it.

MemoryTag is the card with video capability that says just about everything from happy birthday to get well cards, graduation cards, Mother’s and Father’s Day cards, sympathy cards, weddings, anniversary cards, funny cards, weird cards, Valentine’s Day cards, thank you cards, and cards that say things you’ve never heard before.