Your Likely Exercise Timeline
Day 1- Realize that you are getting fat and really need to get into shape.
Day 3- Thinking that the world cares, you decide to post a Facebook status informing the world of your plans to work out.
Day 4- Create iPod playlist for exercising.
Day 5- Realize that your playlist includes too much Ke$ha.
Day 6- Remake playlist. It has just the right amount of Katy Perry songs.
Day 7- Actually begin exercising. Hot girl talks to you at the workout facility.
Day 8-11- You actually exercise every day in this span. Find out hot girl isn’t interested in dating you.
Day 12- You decide that you’re too hung over to exercise on this day.
Day 13- Exercise but only do half of your routine; post Facebook status about it anyway.
Day 14- Think you are getting abs and post a picture of them on Facebook. You get two likes---and a boner.
Day 15-20- Actually exercise. Include the words “workout fiend” in your Twitter bio.
Day 21- You decide that with your newfound abs, you can take a few days off exercising.
Day 22-28- Don’t exercise; still tell people about your changing body and how ripped you’re going to be.
Day 29- Just ride an exercise bike.
Day 30- Decide that your body is hot enough to record a shirtless guitar playing video and upload it on Facebook. You get no likes.
Day 31- Consider a 10 minute walk exercise for the day.
Day 32- Realize that you have actually gained weight in the past 32 days. It must be all of the ice cream. You’re angry because you thought the work outs would offset the ice cream.
Day 33- Consider steroids.
Day 34- Decide they are not worth the ball shrinkage.
Day 35- You decide that girls still might want to have sex with you, so you stop working out.
Day 100- Still no sex.
Day 105- Realize that you are getting fat and really need to get into shape.