Full Credits

Stats & Data

March 18, 2014

Because sex, am i right?!?!?!?!






So I wrote this article already but due to something weird, I lost it. By that I mean that the original article is gone and I have no Idea how. I’m a little pissed off about it, but you know, shit happens. More importantly, some shit “doesn’t” happen. Let me explain, last year I turned 18. It was awesome. I can vote, join the military, and I can get charged as an adult for a crime! THE WORLD IS MY OYSTER! Still, even with all this, turning 18 reminded me that I had gone another year without losing my virginity. And quite frankly, I don’t really give a shit.





Really…I Don’t….


From the beginning of middle school to the end of high school, I watched many of my peers feel that it was necessary get into relationships with each other. I thought that it was stupid, knowing that all of us would never see each other again after graduating. However, no matter how stupid I thought taking a stab at actually loving another human being was, the fact still stood that everybody around me was having sex and I wasn’t. And yes, I mean everyone. From the two freshmen girls who were caught eating each other out during the middle of school, to my Mormon science teacher; it seemed like I couldn’t go 2 minutes without seeing somebody that had hopped on that pogo stick (fucked), worked the old meat grinder (fucked), or taken dad’s truck to the local cleaners (taking your dads truck to get cleaned, and then fucking in it afterwards.) I just don’t care enough to get hired as a pizza delivery boy, deliver a pizza to a suburban housewife who can’t pay for it (but is obviously wealthy), and then accept sex as payment. But this doesn’t mean that I don’t wonder whom I’ll lose my virginity to.




Or where I will most likely lose it


This year I’ll be turning 19, and at the time of writing this I am still a virgin. I still have no real “want” to have sex, but like, I do wonder what it would be like. But more specifically who will the person be? Will it be a guy or girl? Will anyone be drunk? Is it a one-night stand (most likely)? Are they older than me or are they my age? SO MANY QUESTIONS! Either Way, this most definitely won’t be an enjoyable experience for anyone when the universe tears down the berlin wall that is my virginity. I feel at this point I should say this again: it’s that I “DON’T” want to have sex, and it’s not that I “DO” want to have sex, it’s that I simply don’t give a fuck about getting fucked. And yet, I still feel like I should give one.


Being apart of a group is good, and being alone is bad. I didn’t say it, science did. It feels great knowing that that the people around you have something in common with you, I bet it’s a whole thing about being apart of strong community or some shit. So knowing that there’s something holding you back (sex) from having a little bit more in common with everyone else is frustrating. At least to me it is. So I end up thinking about it from time to time. Like when I’m in the grocery store and think “do I want to buy one carton of milk or two…and should I get a pack of condoms in case sex happens this month?” it gets annoying. I feel like I’ll be stereotyped as “that guy” if I just let this fact out. The thing is, people want you to have sex, it’s their way of “helping” you. However, Now I’ve started realize that their “help” is kind of bullshit.


Sex is sex. It will always be sex. People have it and rats do too, no offense to any rats reading this right now. Even though I’m pretty apathetic about it, sex seems cool. I guess my thing is that you shouldn’t feel pressured to lose your virginity, or more accurately, have sex for the first time and be bad at it. So if you are still yet to have sex, REJOICE! Or at the very least, don’t feel so bad. You’ll cross that sweaty and meaty bridge when you come to it. In the mean time be like me! And look at this picture of a cat while ignoring all of your obligations.