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November 27, 2011
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My take on the Lithuanian despot in charge of Hearts

 

Vladimir Romanov – Let’s Be Frank About This

 

On a recent visit to Poundland to stock up on my Diet Cokes (three for a quid, don’t talk to me about social stigma), it made me think of a few things, namely wouldn’t it be cool if they sold alcohol, did that man in front of me in the queue really leave his house this morning without even a cursory glance at a mirror, or indeed a brief liaison with the shower, and how in the hell does Vladimir Romanov think Hearts are worth £50,000,000?

 

That’s right; everyone’s favourite Eastern European nut job has valued his effectively-bankrupt-if-he-wasn’t-financing-it football club at £50M!

 

For that kind of money you can buy numerous properties, sportscars, travel around the world once or twice, or an island or two.  I dare say in these times of austerity that Athens wouldn’t be too far out of reach.

 

I mean it’s not as if he has not ever had a ludicrous comment or action in his time in charge of Hearts, including but not limited to proclaiming that Hearts would win the league, the Champions League, Old Firm buying off referees, the media are monkeys etc.

 

He started off in an exciting manner in 2005 and allowed George Burley to create a fine side with the potential to win the damn league and then pissed all the good work away in a fit of pique, and in the madness stakes he has never looked back.

 

We remember people telling us that he was a breath of fresh air when he arrived as he didn’t come out with the same old tired clichés and soundbites for the media and for a while it was interesting, but it’s now become boring the nonsense he consistently spouts.  We are reminded of the old drunk at your local boozer making outlandish statements that even his mates are fed up with, as they have heard them all before.  Its tiresome and nauseating now, Mr Romanov.

 

When it all boils down to it he has ruined one of our oldest and proudest football traditions, Heart of Midlothian Football Club.  Hearts should be challenging at the top end of the table, along with their City rivals and the New Firm, with good quality young Scottish players produced as they have done for decades.  They shouldn’t be a laughing stock because of some maniacal Lithuanian/Russian banker who has decided to throw some faeces at a wall and see what sticks.

  

I mean £50M; you could buy 150,000,000 cans for that.

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