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July 24, 2009
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1. Coffee , n. The person upon whom one coughs.



2. Flabbergasted , adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has
gained.                                        


3. Abdicate , v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.



4. Esplanade , v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.



5. Willy-nilly , adj. Impotent.



6. Negligent , adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only
a nightgown.                                   


7. Lymph , v. To walk with a lisp.



8. Gargoyle , n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.



9. Flatulence , n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been
run over by a steamroller.                     


10. Balderdash , n. A rapidly receding hairline.



11. Testicle , n. A humorous question on an exam.



12. Rectitude , n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists.                                             


13. Pokemon , n.. A Rastafarian proctologist.



14. Oyster , n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddishisms.                                              


15. Frisbeetarianism , n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies
up onto the roof and gets stuck there.          


16. Circumvent , n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
Jewish men.                           
.
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