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February 13, 2013

Office Confusion, Clearing the Air, Manuel/manual


Hi Everyone,

I hope you’ve all had a wonderful weekend and are off to a magical Monday!! As you know we are installing a new server system for the office, which is VERY exciting, since it will certainly be much faster than our current one. Now you all will be able to do your work at lightening fast speed [what Cisco tells me], unless you’re Barbara, which means you’ll be able to buy custom hand-blown glass on Etsy at lighting fast speed; you’re welcome Barbara. 

I’m following up with you all today because this morning I received a message from William, who thought he was being a real “Silly-Billy” by responding to my “misspelling” in last Thursday’s E-mail regarding the new server login protocol. William wrote:


I think you forgot to include “instruction Manuel” with this E-mail. I expect him to be tall, dark and latino. Please send me a PDF of the instruction manual when you get a moment.

Salsa Verde & Chilaquiles,


First of all, William, “salsa verde & chilaquiles” is not an acceptable salutation for any sort of letter, not to mention that putting it in the context of this message is incredibly racist. You’re a dick, William, and nobody here likes you. 

To clarify last Thursday’s E-mail, there is a very good reason why I didn’t attach a PDF instruction manual to the message. It is because there is no PDF instruction manual. There is, however, “Instruction Manuel,” who will be here around 2:30pm today to assist you with any questions and troubleshooting regarding the new server. From what I understand, in an attempt to create jobs Cisco has hired teams [The Instruction Manuels] of in-person helpdesk techs who are dispatched to assist small businesses with new server and phone system setups. Our Instruction Manuel is actually named Bob. He seemed really nice over the phone, so feel free to say hi to Bob if you pass him in the hall. 

Hope this clears the air!