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January 14, 2016

Porn's final frontier of power to make you question your sexuality is upon us. What will we do next? ATM? We better weigh the options first...

The Pros and Cons of ATM

In age of internet free porn, videos of every kind of every type of even the most remote minutia of human sexuality are so widely available that you can’t even really call it porn anymore. You might as well call it bible study or science class or something along those lines. Porn is something that was supposed to be discovered in secret, by means of accessing forbidden places and finding treasure troves of stuff you probably weren’t supposed to see, but once witnessed could not be unseen; those hings that would scar you for life but in a good way, like a bite from a shark. As long as you survived you had a story to tell and a fair share of bragging rights.

But that all went away, washed out by an ocean of smut anyone willing to brave can swim in any time the beach is clear, the wind is right, and it is time to bask in some “me” time. Now any teenager that has a connection can access stuff that would make a pervert in a raincoat playing pocket pool in a peep show blush. Most everything seems to have lost the power to shock like good old fashioned pornography used to do, back in the days when Times Square was still seedier than a sunflower factory.

Except one thing.

I am pretty inured to most everything, having seen it all and hosted a gazillion downloads of it, one thing never fails to make me react reflexively somewhere between a retch and a gasp… ATM. If I have to explain what that means then you probably don’t want to keep reading. If you need to look it up then the Urban Dictionary is there for you.

Meditating on ATM, ( because that is what we do in porn when we aren’t scaring the neighbors with screaming orgasms and things like that), I realize there are pros and cons to it. Allow me to explain.
On the positive side, in a loving and sexually charged relationship nothing says “I am completely into whatever crazy, wild, kinky shit you can come up with” like ATM. It is that extra mile. It is the road less traveled. It is the walk on the wild side. On the other hand, if you break up then nothing will say “You are a disgusting pervert who should be locked in a kennel with a bunch of rabid pit bulls if you like doing stuff like that”.

Another pro is that porn needs to have some territory that still has the power to shock or else it will lose its lube like luster of shiny wet sex appeal. It will just disappear. And I am pretty sure when that happens civilization will cease to exist within a generation or two. Sex will no longer be sexy and humanity will act like one giant neutered cat that only wants to sleep in the sun and eat itself to death. The con side of this is what happens when ATM becomes humdrum banal and everyone does it all the time? What else is there? I don’t really want to know because I am sure it involves power tools, clown make up, and gender modification to become a hermaphroditic species.

We better figure this out quickly. Time is running out. If we don’t get ahead of this thing then even getting head may become a thing of the past… and that would truly suck.