Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Dylan Rhymer’s live stand-up comedy special
3 Funny Votes
1 Die Votes
Published August 28, 2012

Radio host and skeptic Alex Jones insists that not only was the 1969 moon landing faked, but so was the entire existence of Neil Armstrong, the astronaut given credit for being the first human being to set foot on the moon. Jones suggests Neil Armstrong was merely a fabrication created by “illuminati lizards”, or “illizardati’s”.  

Conspiracy theorists like Jones contend that Neil Armstrong’s entire life including his birth, childhood and old age was a fabrication filmed on a sound stage in New Mexico.

“Well I never met him, so he must not have been real!” rants Jones on his ‘Prison Planet’ podcast which is listened to by millions and taken seriously by dozens.  

You sheeple must be living in a dream world if you actually believe THE BIG LIE that the world’s most brilliant scientific minds of the 1960’s were capable of designing an airtight capsule capable of maintaining human life for days at a time while navigating and moving towards a destination… Submarines don’t count.” Says Jones.

“Because I personally have never been to the moon, I can only assume that it is impossible for human beings to ever get there. For that reason I don’t believe in the summit of Mount Everest, Antarctica or anywhere outside of Texas.” 

Amongst the many achievements the (non) Neil Armstrong is alleged to have (not) achieved:

-Decorated war hero

-University Professor

-The Congressional Space Medal of Honour

-The Congressional Gold Medal in 2009

-The Presidential Medal of Freedom

Throughout the United States, there are more than a dozen elementary, middle and high schools named in his honor,and many places around the world have streets, buildings, schools, and other places named for Armstrong, as well as being regarded as one of the true heroes of the last, or any generation.

“Chumps.” Says Jones. “If only they knew what I think I know.”

Dylan Rhymer’s live stand-up comedy special