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March 02, 2017

“Yeah, home life’s not that great really, I think I’ll be just fine in the orphanage now,”

Orphan Adopted by Trump Supporters Moves Back to Orphanage One Week Later

Just a week after he was adopted by the Stevens, a local Trump supporting family from Poughkeepsie, New York, 8-year-old orphan Jimmy Scranton, escaped his adoptive home and went back to his orphanage in utter fear, shock and disappointment of life.

“Yeah, home life’s not that great really, I think I’ll be just fine in the orphanage now,” said the life-long orphan, who used to say that his only dream in life was to have a real family. “It might be a miserable place only akin to Kafka’s worst nightmares, where existence is sorrow, dullness and perpetual pain, but fuck, have you seen what those assholes do on a Wednesday night? They’re fucking crazy.”

The poor child recounted how he did not know what was going on in his new home at first, but slowly began to spot certain irregularities in his adoptive parents’ behavior.

“One day they told me to wear this costume, like this ghost costume, but it wasn’t anywhere near Halloween so I was pretty confused,” he explained. “I couldn’t see anything with it at first, but when they cut eyeholes on it, I could see that they were dressed up too. Then they said that we were going out for a hunting trip.”

Our readers should beware that the content of the story gets disturbingly graphic from this point on, and are advised to read at their own discretion.

“We went on a pick-up truck, them with rifles in hand, and they just started shooting… “Fifty points if you get a black,” they said, “a hundred if you get a Mexican!” When I started crying, they thought I was doing it out of joy. They threw me up and down and chanted “One of us! One of us!””

Sources confirmed that Jimmy is now back at the orphanage, where is resigned to live in for the rest of his life.