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Mother’s day is the perfect time to show your mom you care, but fancy gifts and flowers can be pretty expensive. Here are some things you can give Mom to show her she’s loved and appreciated, without breaking the bank:
 
  • Password to the HBOGo account she's been paying for.
  • Your undoctored seventh-grade report card.
  • Hand-written directions to Bath & Body Works.
  • “Positive vibes.”
  • A dozen red rose emojis.
  • Lovely card from the good people at HallMork©.
  • A full day at the spa, but just as a spectator.
  • Twitter shout-out with a link to her latest mixtape.
  • Coupon good for 45 minutes of you lying about how your life is going.
  • Flowers, but bad ones.
  • 500 Facebook links where she won’t believe what happens next.
  • A firm, long handshake with steady eye contact and closed-mouth smile.
  • A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to invest in your web series.
  • A Danzig record, but not “Mother” because that’s a little on the nose.
  • Finally accept her friend Ricky. He really cares for her. 
  • Seriously, Ricky isn't trying to be your dad anything. They found love late in life and you should just be happy for them.
  • Lie that you made reservations at a fancy restaurant; when you show up and they don't seat you, make a big scene and get arrested to show how much you care.
  • Fill an empty jar with water and tell her they're your tears of joy from realizing you have the best Mom in the world. She'll eat that shit up.
  • Spend the day making her that grandchild she wants so bad.
  • Print out a picture of her favorite meal.
  • If all else fails, just make her a nice card with the note: "IOU a better Mother's Day Present, but UOMe a better childhood.”
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