Simply put, Tony the Tiger is the sole cause for the decline of Western Civilization. And you thought it was Megadeth.
Let’s face it, thanks to TV, each and every one of you grew up thinking that anything that went wrong, anything you DID wrong, and your each and every failure as a human being, was something which could be easily remedied by confessing your sins to a cartoon-tiger wearing a red bandana, and eating sugar coated corn-flakes cereal. This is not a God-Fearing nation. This is a Tony fearing nation…
“Golly gee! I struck out again! Forgive me Tony, I have sinned!”
“That’s okay slugger! Just say three Hail-Tonys and eat a big ass bowl of Kelloggs Frosted Flakes!”
“Wow! I hit a home run! Thank you Father-Tony!”
“Har, har, har theyyyyyyy’re GREAT!”
What’s even worse, is they show strawberries in the bowl of cereal on the front of that Frosted Flakes box. And everyone knows damn well by now, they’re NOT in there. You don’t see Tigger pulling this shit.