Presidential auction quiz for candidates. Read each question carefully. No input from campaign managers, children, or the help is allowed.
1. Which name has the least close attachment to the terra firma? a. Obama b. Romulan c. Romney
2. A flash fire has quickly blown across the Kenyan veldt, destroying everything combustible in its path. Your brother is now homeless. Which construction material do you use to rebuild his home? a. Recycled wood from shipping pallets b. Mpingo trees c. Compacted earth bricks d. Sticks
3. You worked for 30 years at a toy factory but lost your job because the business collapsed due to financial manipulation and rampant greed. You now have to maintain your car yourself to save money. Considering the budget, you can buy only one item at a time. Which do you buy first? a. Hubcap seals b. Muffler bearings c. K-nibbler pins
4. You decide to tune up the 8 cylinder turbo diesel engine in your Dodge Ram and begin to replace the plug wires and some of the wires become mixed up. What is the spark plug firing order for this engine? a. 18436572 b.15426378 c.153624 d. None of the above.
5. Your home has been flooded in a recent hurricane and your belongings are now underwater. What do you do first? a. Pray to God b. Call your insurance agency. c. Call 211. d. Call a good neighbor. e. Go to Dunkin Doughnuts and buy inexpensive coffee.
6. To get your wife out of the house, you allow her monthly trips on Air Force Two. What is the type and price of fuel alone to fly from Washington DC to Hawaii? Fill in the blank______________________
7. You are going to address a convention at the National Organization of Women. Which microphone do you use to get the best response from the ladies? a. A nearly invisible Tram TR-50 b. A heavy thick ElectroVoice RE-27 c. A long thin Sennheiser MKH 416.
8. Which phrase doesn't belong? a. Faxing sound b. Honest Politician c. Non-profit war.
9. Which medical device do you tell the Indian surgeon to use for your upcoming prostate exam? a. A proctoscope b. A surgically precise WMD operated by Don Rumsfeld. c. An ultrasound transducer d. A disgruntled constituent's middle digit.
10. You attend a kindergarden class at an elementary school and recite the pledge of allegiance to the flag of the United States of America. Where do you place your right hand? a. On your chest b. In your pocket c. Behind your head. d. Along your side. e. On the student teacher's chest.
Questions promulgated by Larry Vaughn (larryvaughnAThotmail.com) at no cost to the American public. If you enjoyed this quiz, please consider making a donation via PayPal to the above account, so additional questions can be developed to more thoroughly vet our candidates.