Amazon.com is turning 20 years old next week and they’re already planning a big celebration. They are boasting deals bigger and better than those on Black Friday! But shouldn’t we do something for them?
What site had your back when you forgot Mother’s Day and last minute express shipped a present to your mother? Who supplied you with five months worth of toilet paper? Amazon has always been there for us and deserves all of the love and recognition in the world.
20 Items On Amazon.com To Give To Amazon For Its 20th Birthday
- Friendship bracelet: a classic way to express your commitment and love for the the site!
- Transparent: The show that everyone is raving about, but what’s the chance Amazon has gotten to sit down and watch their own creation?
- 1,500 live ladybugs: Amazon sells this ridiculous “product” so they should know what to do with them.
- Jug of whey protein: It’s getting older and needs to start looking out for it’s health! This will help it bulk up for it’s bulk orders!
- E-book of Hunger Games trilogy: At this point, the trilogy is probably too hyped up for Amazon but ya gotta read it before ya knock it, right?
- Amazon Rainforest book: Surely, Amazon is pretty curious about this rainforest it’s always getting confused with. This book will give it a basic understanding of one of earth’s most fascinating ecosystems!
- 20-Something, 20-Everything: A Quarter-life Woman’s Guide to Balance and Direction: Making the big assumption that Amazon is a woman, this book will hopefully help guide her into her twenties.
- “This is what 10 and Awesome looks like” t-shirt: Contrarily, if the website identifies as a boy, you can order it two shirts for ten year olds.
- Novelty red visor and spiked hair wig: Who doesn’t like a gag gift? No one will recognize the website with this wig on!
- Cake: Nothing better than ordering a mass made baked good off the internet! Yum!
- Confederate Flag notebook: Amazon banned the flag but can still relive old racist memories and journal about them in this notebook!
- Janet Jackson’s ninth studio album,20 Y.O: A musical and spiritual journey important for all young adults.
- Amazon T-shirt: Personalized apparel!
- Relaxation Capsule: Amazon does a ton of work and deserves a break. We’re not entirely sure what this capsule does but hopefully it’s compatible with computers.
- 55 Gallons of Lube: Hey Amazon, have fun on your birthday. ;-)
- Three moon wolf shirt: A classic wardrobe item that inspired trolls from around the world.
- Diploma: Amazon probably didn’t get the opportunity to go to college, so here is a nice gesture to the college-aged site.
- A crystal armchair: One of the more elaborate and expensive items on the site and who deserves it more than the site itself?
- Amazon Gift Card: Let the site invest in itself, remind itself that it has worth, value, and is loved.
- Visa Gift Card: Unless of course, Amazon wants to get something it doesn’t offer, like maybe a Confederate flag, or 56 gallons of lube.