After much deliberation, I have decided that if I am to pursue my dream as a hot, male stripper, I will go by the Show-Name of: Warren G. Hard-On. In honor of Warren G. Harding, the 29th President of the United States of America. I think it is an honorable name that will commemerate the man eternally. Warren G. Hard-On is provocative, tasteful and classy; but most of all…it is Patriotic. So when I hit that stage every night, all oiled up wearing that tear away G-string, I will know that I’m not just doing it for the approval of those drunken middle-aged housewives or for the degrading sum of money I will earn every night (mostly oily singles); I will be doing this wild, cock-tease romp for America!
Let Freedom Ring….In My Pants.
On a sad note, it has been recently brought to my attention that Warren Harding has been dead for the last 85 years. Now knowing this, it saddens me that he will never get to enjoy my show.I had always wished for Warren to watch me perform my routine at the local club, The Man-Hole. All I wanted was for Mr. Harding to come up to me after a show and say “Hey Dan, I loved the show! Keep up the good work!” And in that moment, Warren and I both would know that we had something special. But unfortunately, this will never come to pass….
In Loving Memory,