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February 04, 2016
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Change a tweet from "bad!" to "great again!"

Following the Iowa Caucus, Donald Trump strung a bunch of words together and tweeted them. The basic gist of which is that Ted Cruz did not win, but instead stole his Iowa victory.

Trump of course doesn’t go into much detail about how Cruz stole the Caucus win, the same way he doesn’t really bother to make any of the words he tweeted make sense. But because he ended his tweet with Bad!, something he’s wont to do, we can only assume he doesn’t like what happened in Iowa with Cruz.

With that in mind, we can swap in any adjective for Bad! and it completely recasts the meaning of Trump’s garbage tweet. Check it out.

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Trump’s a big old fucker and respects other big old fuckers. In this instance, Trump admires Cruz’s ability to scam the nation. Maybe Cruz has a new potential voter?


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Here Trump is admitting he’s jealous! It takes a lot for a politician to be so raw and vulnerable in a tweet. If people could get over his truly bizarre syntax and the fact that he really said he could shoot someone down on 5th Ave and people would still vote for him, then maybe he’d earn some sympathy votes!


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Whoa! Ending it with So Aroused! really gives us some terrifying insight into what gets Trump off. He actually can only cum thinking about old white dudes buying an election.


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This one doesn’t make really any sense, which actually aligns it most with the rest of the text in the tweet. Don’t waste too much energy trying to assign any logic to it. Also, use that sentiment – not assigning any logic to it – to deal with Trump in general. It’s truly not worth our time.

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