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June 30, 2011

57-Year Old Glen Morrill Accuses Bigfoot of Sexual Assault

 Bigfoot (Alleged Attacker) and Gene Morrill (Victim)
-57 year old Gene Morrill, from Casper, Wyoming appeared before police, investigators and news media today where he claimed to have been sexually assaulted several times by the legendary Bigfoot.  Morrill stated that over the past 18 months, he had gone camping multiple times where he was confronted by the lewd menace and forced into questionable situations.  At first, Morrill ignored many of his advances, slapping the creature's hands and hitting him with marshmallows and then fleeing to other campsites.  "Once he had my scent, I knew I was an easy target," Morrill explained, "and I have a very distinctive smell, especially when I'm camping" chuckled Morrill.  County Prosecutor Fletcher Paskins stated, "We take issues such as these very seriously.  We will not rest until justice is served and this purported perp is properly prosecuted."  Police have had several leads so far, including some false alarms turning out to be merely Justin Bieber hair sightings. Morrill is in stable condition and will remain under the razor of police protection.

   Police-Released Sketch of Alleged Attacker